The Klare Family

Learning how to be her mother...

2012-02-02T22:59:00.001-05:00

I am getting to a new phase of parenthood or Maria's getting into a new phase of childhood. Either way we are both learning some life lessons about each other.

As Maria rapidly approaches her 18 month marker, she is definitely blossoming into a talking, independent and adoreable child.

Howeva! along with that ole' man and I are facing new challenges. :)

for instance:

she loves to tell me no, like all the time!

me: maria, please don't do that.

maria: NO!

me: maria, would you like to play your TOYS?

maria: no-ah!

me: maria, would you like a snack?

maria: NO!

me: maria, would you like a drink?

maria: NO!

me: maria, please don't touch that. No.. No... NO! UGH!

maria: NO! NO! NO-AAAH!! (smack me here, smack me there)

me: maria, say sorry, don't you love mommy?

maria: NO!

me: =( (give a huge sad face)

maria: =) (thinks my sad face is hysterical)

me: =) (melts my heart into oblivion before i can sit her in the corner)

i am puddy in this child's hands!

somtimes this crazy behavior comes from just not occupying her time. I have to get more creative on how maria and i spend our alone time together. she wants to discover the world and i am her way to doing that. Which is a really awesome responsibility.

So far I have learned, that she loves helping me clean. I can almost clean any room in the house as long as i give her a dust rag or a part of the vacuum and she is right behind me humming along and pretending to "whistle while you work".

I have learned that she will probably make an excellent cook one day. She loves to be in the kitchen with me baking. She will pull her stool up right next to me and want to get into the big bowls, spoons and flour. messy, but who cares, she loves it! (and she cleans, remember!)

I have also learned that along with her love of music, me singing, dancing and playing pretend piano she loves loves loves for me to read to her EVERDAY. And it is no wonder that she is taking books on her own to read to all her little friends - who are bears.

We have 3 bears that she loves and adores. 2 pink and 1 brown bear. Any coincidence that the two pink bears remind me of Hope and Grace and the brown bear our son to be? idk. i am always looking for signs of H & G, so i'm gonna say it's totally providential! :)

So here we are one day, playing around and then settling down for reading time.

PS... MARIA KISSES EVERYTHING. OR as we call it "Besos". she has no problem smooching everything she loves.

If she loves you, you better pucker up!

where does she get that from? (heehee)

ok kids, this mommy is way super tired. I hope you liked the post. baby boy is kicking, maria is sleeping, and the buzzard for my banana bread is buzzing. So i am off to bed. zzzzzzz

I leave you with one last pic, out of 9,342,324,34684,234,56,3456,34,5300 that i took. I mean, one is bound to look decent! eh?...

ok. peace. God be with all my family and friends that read this thing. I love you, Good night.

(besos!)

<3 luci

We're having a...

2012-01-25T22:39:00.003-05:00

It literally took 598 marshmallows for Maria to somewhat cooperate in delivering this news...

(i know good parenting)

so here it is

...

Woo Hoo!!! So there you have it, we are having a BOY! And truly we couldn't be more excited. He is a very healthy, measuring two days ahead, baby boy.

It's hard to believe that after 3 girls God is giving us a son! (gulp) I am elated to have him apart of this family. Maria is going to have the bestest friend in him.

How did we react:

ME? I cried, permagrinned and stared at ole' man in wonderment of how good God is to us

Maria? She smiled, oo'd and awe'd but excited because we were excited.

Ole Man Klare? He was so proud. and I quote him as he stuck out his chest, "you can't say i didn't do my job, the Klare name will live on!"

LOL! oh my.

So... thanks for the prayers for baby Klare...

I can't wait to hold you, son.

I will blog post his name very soon! :)

God Bless! <3 luci

So I admit it, I am a total sap....

2012-01-18T10:48:00.002-05:00

I was driving to work this morning and stopped at a traffic light listening to music, when this song came on.
below is Vince Gill singing look at us

Of course all I could do was think of my main squeeze and choke up.

You see Ole Man Klare and I have been through a lot as a couple. In just the time we have been together we have managed to get through what most couples don't ever have to witness with in their young married lives.

What's amazing is if you know us, you will know just how different we really are. I would love to say that we never argue, I never annoy him, or he never gets under my skin, but the truth is we are human beings and not a romance movie/novel/fairy tale. this is real love people.:)

But when I think of him, who he is as a father and husband and all he has been as my bestest bud in this whole world, I am weak all over. And it take but 1 second to tear up, in thanksgiving that he is mine.
uh, huh. yeah, ALL THIS AT A RED LIGHT - YEAH I AM NUTS. can you say, "hormones"?

Chris Klare, I do love you! Please don't do anything to T me off to regret posting this!! lol! just kidding. No matter how tough things are, I will always melt in your love.

Ps... Remember the first time felt we the girls kick our hands?? April, 2009 at the Grand Ole Opry, Vince Gill was singing that night.

Visiting H & G

2012-01-11T12:45:00.001-05:00

It's been 2 & 1/2 years...

All most every Sunday after church Chris, Maria and I visit Hope and Grace at the cemetary. Typically, when the weather permits we will bring them flowers and say a hello or a little prayer and continue on with our day.

At the beginning when we first started what is now becoming a beautiful weekly tradition, I felt eager and anxious to get to them. Like they were waiting for me to pick them up and take them home.  I'd sit by their grave, view the their names side by side and read over and over what reads on their stone "together forever".   And all I felt was pain, sorrow and unrest. Those first few times, after we visited, I would cry and ache over the fact we had leave them there. I just wanted to hold them.

Fast forward to this past Sunday. It was a beautiful day. After church I am always eager to what direction Chris will take out of the parking lot.   And never fail we turn left, down to St. Mary's Cemetary. I love turning left after mass.  (right turn, means we go home) We picked up some beautiful flowers.  That particular day I chose peach roses, something about them stood out to me. It was a nice enough day that the whole family got out of the car to visit the girls. With the cold weather we usually take turns and Maria stays in the car.

Chris always makes their resting place beautiful. He edges around the stone, where the grass is over grown. He brings a scrub brush , dawn soap and lots of water to clean the stone of the girls and his grandparents (who the girls are buried with) to make it shine. He clips the flowers to fit the vase and we stand together.

I am uncertain what Chris thinks when he is there. He is a very deep human being with feelings of love so unfathomable for his children. I am sure he does his own sould searching and talking to the girls.

I usually repeat the words, "together forever" to myself over and over. I think of their bodies that lie beneath the clover that covers the ground and miss them terribly in my arms.  As soon as I begin to feel sorrow, I pray my hail mary's as fast as I can. I cling to Her. She calms my mother instinct of wanting to dig threw that clover and dirt and pull them back to my chest where I think that they belong.
I am immediately drawn to imagining them in heaven.  I imagine all those who accompany them and keeping them safe. I am comforted. I imagine the love they are pouring on us as they look down at the three / four of us.  I am comforted. I look at Maria and feel baby klare flutter inside of me and know that without Hope and Grace the path for Maria and the rest of our children would not have been set. I am comforted. I remember the truths of my Faith, that this life is but just a fleeting moment in comparrison to my life in eternity, and eternity where I will hold all my children and be in the presence of God for.ev.er!!! I am comforted.

I am able to leave St. Mary's no longer crying in agony. It's taken some time, that's for sure. But the pain I feel is the longing for Heaven. Time has healed so much. Maria and Chris have been suchconsolations to my heart, in ways that I am in debt to them FOREVER.

Maria is starting to say "Ope / Hop and Ges /Ace" (hope and grace) , more often now. It's a new pain that I haven't dealt with... I am still trying to feel out what it is. But I think it is me hoping that my all of Hope and Grace's little siblings will feel the impressioned that they have left on all of us. Though they will not meet them in person, I hope they will know the amount of HOPE, GRACE and LOVE God gave to us the day they were born and feel that some way too.

Thanks for reading a deep post. It's been on my mind since Sunday and I would have exploded or seriously regretted not logging these beautiful feelings I am having.

*** And to add: To my children, (if they ever read this)
Remember them and remember us. Do not forget your place in time and eternity. Visiting your sisters is so peaceful and mending for your Father and I. I hope you find it to be also. ALWAYS, ALWAYS pray for your father and I. We need it.

all my love.

Christmas with Gray's... are you ready for this?

2012-01-04T22:16:00.001-05:00

Welcome to Gray Christmas, everybody!

As you can see, we take up a lot of space when we are all together. It takes a hotel to handle all of us any more. Which is great for so many reasons...

(Michael "Christian")

Mommy's chase after babies and babies love the chase!

Seriously, could you eat this kid???

(Lucy Moss)

little neices play with new Christmas gifts and smile so grateful to be hugged by their tons of aunts and uncles.

(Addison Dru)

Aunts and Uncles get to watch as the little one's grow from gorgeous babies...

(Ava Maria and Maria Fidelis)

to beautiful little ladies.

(Michael and Emilia)

Daddy's play with baby girls.

(Chris and Maria)

While other's (ahem) melt in their little girls' arms.

(T, David and Christian)

Uncles toss the nephews in the air, while the aunts and mommy's scream, "be careful, not too high!" and the nephews scream, "MORE"

(Luke tevis and Noah kent)

Games are always a must. And are always so competitive and fun!!

BUT, elevators are wayyyy more fun to ride up and down until security is called.

(David - army strong)

Speaking of security, some kids kept dropping stuff on us from the floor above, so we called in the army to do some "staking out"... problem solved. LOL!

(Emilia and Lucy)

Nieces jump.

And neices dance! Rock it Emilia!!

(Jacque and Sister Maria Fidelis o.p.)

But one thing is fo sho, where will you ever have a "juggle off" between sisters!! Jacque won again Sr. Maria Fidelis and Me. Go ahead and brag, I want a rematch!

After a ton of festivities we gathered to open gifts and enjoy the company of chaotic crazy Grays!! I love it. It makes my heart so happy to have a family so close and so wonderful.

Mom and Dad gave Chris, Maria and I some very special gifts this year...

1 gift for Maria

another for the twins... to always remember our two peas, Hope and Gracie!

Other gifts were also distributed... one that made a very strong, proud, 17 year old senior

a whole lotta happy

and a great deal appreciative.

Every year everyone picks names among the brother's and sisters... Even sister Maria Fidelis is included, though she has no money and can't go buy a gift. And believe it or not we ALL PRAY that she chooses our name because, the lucky one gets this...

That's right, the JACKPOT!

Darn it Mia!!! You always get everything!! ugh! ;) just kiddin. lov ya sis!

And yeah, that's a full size blankey with some SWEET booties!

I love my family and I can't say it enough. I will always love each one of them no matter what. All 8 of my siblings are amazing to me and have taught me so much, yep even "the little ones" David, Gabe and Mia.

This year a close friend of mine lost her sister, I many times I imagined what it would be like, and well, it's the worst feeling in the world just imagining. But I am grateful that I got to witness that love for each other and appreciate in a more passionate way each one of my siblings. Thank you, Ali and Mel.

I love you all Gina, Sister Maria Fidelis, T, Jacque, Jessica, David, Gabe and Mia.

I hope we always each one stay this close.

ok, well maybe not as close as David and Gabe they are a little creepy about it. ;) Seriously, I think they are planning a way to live together forever. :)

And so Merry Christmas from the Gray Family. May you always love each other no matter how crazy life gets, how much God asks of you or how far apart you all may be. Always remember that home is really where the heart is. AND don't forget to thank those who made it all possible...

(missing three awesomest family members Jess, Ty and Soph)

MOM AND DAD!!

And so until next time...

I love you.

<3 luci

Ahhhh very happy birthday, to you, to you!

2011-12-22T23:22:00.001-05:00

Someone super special had a very happy birthday today.

I could go into a million reasons why I absolutely love my mother-in-law, but she would be so embarrassed if I did. But heck, we have the kind of relationship where embarrassment is part of the love. Right, Linda? ("Are you gonna eat alll that??!??)

TOP 10 REASONS WHY I LOVE THIS BEAUTIFUL LADY:

10. No matter how hungry you are, she's gonna whip up a dinner and feed the masses with some yummy casseroles. And then tell you how she never ate vegetables until she met Jerry. (lol)

9. She'll make friends with anyone. Linda, could walk right up to a perfect stranger and talk to them as though they've been friends forever. Ah-Maz-ING!

8. She remembers EVERYTHING! She can spit out who gave you what gift, at what time and what they were wearing to boot. I am always looking to her to keep me up to date on who's who and what's what.

7. I can tell her anything. I can be so completely honest with her and she with me and it is so refreshing. When my friends get married and ask advice on what to do with a mother-in-law gone bad, I simply say, "I have no idea. But what works for us is just talking it out and being honest and respectful of each other's feelings" :)

6. She has the best sayings ever... "MERCY!" "Well, excuse a pig!", "let me see your piggies", "hellooo baby" and my all time favorite, "JAckASs!" I love when she gets mad at jerry and says that.

5. She makes a perfect Grandma. I always imagined my children to have a grandma who could sew, bake, shop, talk with, and run to when mommy and daddy are mean. And she is a homerun on all the above. I melt when Maria lights up just when I say, "wanna go see mimi?"
4. She is strong. yeah, try raising three boys who are all completely different. She is one tough lady, so don't mess with her.

3. She will drop what she is doing and come to your rescue. I can't count how many times I have called her in a panick for recipes, cooking advice, cleaning tips, cleaning supplies, help with maria, HELP WITH CHRIS ;) or just any little thing that I know nothing about, she is there in a jiff.

2. She loves her boys. Oh, when I mean loves her boys, I mean she will call each one every day. She will be sure to give them a big hug and smile when she sees them. I love hearing her stories about sesame street and mcdonald's nights or all their fun adventures as little tykes. She is an awesome mother of 3 boys who have become amazing men. A true testimony to how she would beat the crap, ooops i mean, love them each the say they needed to be loved. lol!! And the "big boy", Jerry her main squeeze. Well, if you ever have the pleasure to see them in action, it will bring tears to your eyes to see how funny they are together. God has been so good to these men to have Linda as their wife and mother.

1. And of course the number 1 reason, is because she gave me Chris. He is who he is today, because of her doing. Thanks Linda! I snagged the best one ;) (lol, just kidding dave and kev)

Moving on. Uncle Kevin prepared a yummy feast for dinner, that was super delicious! And might I say, he is super thoughtful when it comes to making people feel special on their big day.

I hope her birthday wish was a good one!

Mimi, couldn't resist letting Maria lick the candles... and Maria was none to happy when we took them away. yikes.

Mimi, papaw and Maria

Someone forgot to check their tude at the door! haha.

I love this face. It's saying, "Jerry what did you do?"

BAM! He did diamond earrings! Lucky gal!

Happy Birthday Mimi! We love you!

Too much fun at mimi's party, night time!

goodnight.

and happy birthday lin!

Thanks Santa!!

2011-12-22T13:24:00.002-05:00

This year, Santa came to me a little early.

He not only brought the gift I have been waiting (so impatiently) for, but he it came with a little disclaimer...

This gift will be used to take pictures of all of my children. It will be used to quickly capture their expressions, their moods, whims, celebrations and joys. It will be used to capture all those they love and hold dear; for every holiday, birthday, fourth of july, vacation and outing. And if I break it, Daddy will have my head! :) lol.

I love you Santa. Thanks for being the most wonderfullest bestest friend I have. Merry Christmas!

In need of serious picture update

2011-12-13T13:06:00.000-05:00

As the weeks go bye, I have had the very unfortunate luck to be be missing my camera cord that links up all my pictures from my camera to my pc. And I know I have one "not so anonymous friend" who is probably dying to see Maria growing up around this holiday season! Right Mary?! :)
But for now, all I can post are pictures that have taken with my ipad and uploaded on facebook. So for my fb friends this is a repeat of pics and for my non fb friends this is new! :)

Our life is full of Christmas, spirit these days. It's my most favorite time of the year! And we kicked it off with a bang by seeing a Christmas Carol with my mom, lil sis, Chels and her mama (shout out, Kells!), and Mimi!

Christmas is so special to me in so many ways. You have the obvious Christmas trees, lights family time, food, games, cookies and gifts. But even more special the birth of Jesus. Almost every Christmas since Chris and I have been married, I have been expecting a baby. (I know, crazy - but that's us) I feel so close to baby Jesus and Mary our Mother during this time as I carry God's own gift inside me.

Christmas is my own thanksgiving, when I can look at my husband and my children and cry tears of joy for all the love I have for them and how blessed I am.

Klare Christmas is always especially wonderful. If you don't know my mother-in-law and father-in-law they represent so much of what Christmas is all about. And I am so grateful my children are close to them to spend it with them every year.

Mimi and Papaw are starting the traditions off this year with cookie baking. YUM!

Mimi, Chels, Maria and I spent all day baking up a storm of Christmas cookies for our families and for Santa. Okay, Maria and I took about a 3 hour power nap in between all the baking, but we woke up just in time for taste testing ! :)

As you can see, Maria was a little upset when I cut her off from cookie eating after 5 cookies.

What's Christmas without a little hat and apron while baking in the kitchen? Papaw was so sweet to hook all the girls up with their own aprons and Maria's even lit up! (spoiled!)

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, whoowho whooowhoo (whistle)

And the final cookie baking in the oven at a temperature of 98 degrees, for 6 more months and a rapid heartbeat of 160....

That would be baby Klare #4!!! I can't wait to hold you my little sugar muffin.

Hearing your heartbeat with your daddy and big sisters was all I needed for Christmas. I love you!!

Maria in her Christmas outfit! lol... Check out the diapers Uncle Kevin bought her! lol.

Hope, Grace, Maria and baby #4

2011-11-21T11:58:00.001-05:00

I know so many have been wondering where I have been. And I am sorry I have not been around to blog the Klare Family craziness that has been going on. But there is a real reason. I have been hiding out and sleeping every chance I get...
BECAUSE....
I am having a baby... Yes. Chris and I will be welcoming baby #4 in June. WOO HOO!

(ps... this is a pic of a random baby i found @11 weeks via the web ... just wanted to give you a visual :) )

It has been very hard to find the energy to do anything more than my current schedule (work, maria, husband, and BED TIME). But I am starting to find my energy again. So expect a backlog of blogs from October and November that I have been saving up!
WHEN WE FOUND OUT:
Chris and I found out we were expecting a new bundle on our anniversary. I think when I saw the + sign I immediately said to myself, "What the H. E. double hockey sticks is that?"
Although we had been wanting another baby, it seemed to be a shocking surprise when the little magic stick told me "YOUR PREGNANT LADY!"
How I told Chris:
I wrote him an anniversary card. Of course gushing how much I love him. And said, "Isn't it amazing how much we have accomplished! 3 awesome years of marraige and 4 beautiful children? Yep, we're pregnant!! So, if you are not excited, fake it!"
Of course, there was no faking anything for Chris. He was just as excited to have another babe as I was.
So here we are our humble little family ready to expand once again. And couldn't be more thrilled over the idea.

Maria is equally excited, pointing at my belly (which looks like I am 6 months along), saying, "baby. baby." She is all to ready to have a little brother or sister to play with. And I am in love with the idea of her being a big sister and showing he or she the ropes of being a little klare.
God is so good to us. seriously, He is. I am so blessed to have my family. I never thought I would be where I am today. In a beautiful house tucked away with my loving husband, two daughters for SAINTS (wow!), a baby girl who I can't downpour my love on enough, and now another little beaut rapidly growing and blessing our family.

We are still early on... only 11 weeks. So please continue to pray for us as this journey continues on. I have another doc appointment to clear us on baby's health after the first trimester next week, so every prayer would be appreciated.
God Bless
<3 Luci

Ayr-pleh, wittle wuv-ee, Caowets, BannnnAnnnnnA, Mawwwiia

2011-10-12T08:41:00.001-04:00

Lately, I find myself talking "baby" all the time. The other day I was in my car, stopped at a traffic light and noticed an "ayr-pleh" fly over the sky. I realized the moment I said "ayr-pleh" in my baby voice, that I had a problem.
These days its so fun to try to get Maria to talk. It seems as though, she has completely dropped Mama and Dada and picked up her new favorites. Which are as follows: cheese, jesus, airplane, hot, banana, up, pawpa, nana and nonononono!
I love this little girl. More than you can imagine. I spend half my time trying thanking God for giving me a beautifully amazing child and the other half wondering where she got her temper. :)
I enjoy the moments of laughter, dancing (we love to dance in our house), and all the new things we get to watch Maria learn how to do.
I hope that these days move a little more slowly and I never forget how blessed this time is with her.
Have a blessed day!

Faith. Forever. Family.

2011-09-21T14:16:00.001-04:00

Chris and I are approaching our 3rd year anniversary. And in all honestly, I pinch myself in disbelief - for many reasons. I can't believe that it's been 3 years. I can't believe we survived 3 years. I can't believe it's ONLY been 3 years, feels like 30! ;) But really, when you've been through what we have in three years of marriage, it seems like much longer.
We are total and complete OPPOSITES. On a typical day we disagree over 500 minor things. On a good day we see eye to eye once or twice. When you walk into our house, you will typically find us going back and forth on random topics of conversation. My personal favorite is whether or not it's possible to get struck by lightning inside of your own house. I say, "no way". He says, "OH, yes". Apparently he "knows" people who it has happened to. (haahaa)
I appreciate that we are so different and never boring. I feel we are constantly discovering each other and that keeps things fresh. Of course, it would be TOTALLY awesome if he loved the things I love like: sushi, traveling to foreign countries, watching football and boyz2men concerts. However, it's been fun discovering my "inner country" and enjoying things much more simple and close to home. (but i will always long for ROMA) I know that I am just a little cooky and a whole lot of care free. And grateful he is a little serious and more cautious than the average Joe. Sure, we are different in so many ways. But somehow we keep things balanced.
But there are three things we actually do have in common. AWESOME!(I high fived myself). And thank goodness, because they are what really keep us together.
Faith. # 1 on our priority list. We are the best at getting up and trying again in this department. I feel like we are always working on building this together. Sometimes we are good in our prayer life together and sometimes we don't give enough of ourselves. But for the most part, we both understand that with out this fundamental element in our marriage and our family, we are kApUt!
Forever. Long before Chris and I said "I do", we understood what we were going to do. I vowed my love for him, the day I told him I loved him and I believe, he did the same. Our marriage vows were just the final step (not the beginning) in freeing us to love each other fully. Forever isn't a term that I hope will happen to us, but what I know has happened. I am his, FOREVER.
Family. In loving each other and loving our faith we are open to life - at all times. We are open to God's plan for us and our family. Both Chris and I learned very early on that we never dare put a number on how many children we will have or the timing. I wanted 10 and he wanted as many as possible as long as there was a dollar left in his wallet. :) But God ultimately decides this one. We are blessed to be able to have 2 in heaven and 1 with us. Our job as parents is to get our whole family to heaven. So whether he entrusts us with Maria alone or a whole additional brood, we are willing and accepting.

I love being able to talk about "Ol' Man Klare" freely on this blog. I know he ganders at it from time to time and I hope he knows that everything I post about our family is a little love letter to him for how how grateful I am to be his wife. I love him entirely too much to be a sane person living in society, but I am happy he accepts me for who I am, with all my craziness and is willing to continue this journey together.

Hey, babe. Rembember when?

Ah... the old days, imagining what our future would hold.

Never afraid to let loose.

Never afraid to love each other totally.

Now look where we are together. Amazing, huh?

<3 luci

My, How Times Have Changed...

2011-09-16T11:04:00.000-04:00

This morning I dropped Maria off at my mom and dad's. "Nana" (my mom) has been begging to take Maria for a day, to just soak in some baby time.

It's routine habit that I call every hour to check on my baby to make sure she is fed, changed, happy and still alive. Paranoid much? Yeah, I know I am. After confirming that Maria was happy as a lark, I inquired on what the rest of the house was up to. She confirmed that all other parties in the household were sleeping at 10:00 am, on a weekday.

I immediately thought, "What lazy bums!". But before I could spit the words out, my mom said, "Luci, remember those days? When you would sleeping until noon?"

I had to think for a second about if she was right. And thought, "oooh Yeahh! Ahh those were the days." And, as usual, she was totally right and I bit my tongue.

My how things have changed in just a few short years.

Now, I wake up randomly in the middle of the night to click on the monitor to make sure Maria is sleeping well.

If I sleep in until 8 a.m. I think I have just won the lottery and got the best sleep in ever. (not exaggerating)

I have eaten 99 different types of baby food. Mainly, to check if the food is too hot. My least favorite is chicken and apples, by the way. Strongly recommend having your husband taste that one for you. YACK!

I long for naptimes, so that I can get a little shut eye too. But really I end up picking the house up and trying to get peas and green beans out of the grout on my kitchen floor.

I pick up, clean, pick up, clean, pick up, clean... and still my house looks like a bomb went off in it, a tornado hit and I allow food fights on a daily basis.

To eat dinner is to eat unsalted, luke warm and unflavored food. I take a bite,Maria takes a bite, I take a bite, Maria takes a bite and the pattern continues until she looks at me with her chubby smile, to tell me she is done. And then down she goes for me to chase her while I finish dinner.

But bedtime is the hardest of it all. Mostly, because I hate the thought of laying her down, knowing it's going to be a whole 10 hours until I get to hold her again.

My how times have changed! I once was a socialite. I fed off the lights at night and craved the fun. I was a flight risk 99% of the time, because I was so carefree and changed my life's direction all the time. There was no real responsibility to anyone. There wasn't any real consequences to any of my actions.

Though I am no longer a vagabond of sorts, I am superbly happy with where I am now. And though it may have seemed that I complained about the baby food, the sleep, the cleaning and the chasing...

In reality, I love it all.

Don't get me wrong, I don't wake up hoping to have a messy house, but I wake up hoping that God has given me another day to try and be better as a wife and mother. Thank goodness He is merciful. Because I fail quite often. And I need more practice!

So to my little brothers and sister enjoy your youth. :) I'd be lying if I said I didn't.

Have a blessed day today!

<3 Luci

Life

2011-09-14T10:39:00.002-04:00

It's very easy to remember clearly, the instances in my life when I felt with my whole heart, that I wanted to change. And last night, with one text, that updated me on Ali's status fighting cancer, I had that feeling.
And as I sit on my couch staring at the baby monitor watching Maria sleep, trying to shake the helplessness feeling of not being able to do anything for Ali, I began to pray, reflect and sob.
I have taken so many things for granted, lately. I have not thanked the Lord enough for my health or the health of those I love. I have not thanked him for the chance that I get to love everyone in the fullest capacity in my life.
Last night, was a very clear and decisive changing point in my life and how I want to live it.
Every day is a gift from God. I am truly on His time and supposed to take everyday I am given to love Him and share this love with my family, so we can be united in Heaven.
I promise to be a little more conscious to do this ...

Thank you, Ali for fighting so hard. In your suffering and fight for your life, my heart is changing and I am learning and reliving the love I felt a couple years ago. I continue to ask God for your miracle. I promise to do this everyday, for you.

I beg you to please keep Ali in your prayers as she and her whole family fights this. please. please. please.
Read her story: http://www.loft3pd.com/blog/?p=4965 to understand how beautiful she truly is to those who know her.

God Bless all of you who continue to read this blog... and continue to be prayer warriors in my life! Today, please send your prayers Ali's way.

Maria is ONE! (sadface, happyface)

2011-09-08T14:11:00.000-04:00

It wasn't but just 1 year ago, I was sitting waiting, waiting and waiting. I waited for my rainbow baby (what they call children who come after losing an infant - the rainbow after the rain). And when she arrived... I allowed myself to get lost in loving her.

Oh Maria! I can hardly write this without wanting to sob uncontrollably at the thought of what your 365 days of just breathing has done for me. And all 365 days I have spent smothering you in mushy kisses, tender squeezes and lots of "I love you, baby" smiles.

So in reflection of this year this is what I want to always remember...

picture by Melanie Pace www.loft3pd.com

When you were born, I thought you were the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen.

(Though your uncles commented a lot on your double chin and your hairy shoulders

- we forgave them)

I spent the days after your birth without any sleep. I couldn't. Ever breath you took relieved the weight I carried for so long from your sisters' leaving us. With every breath you filled my life with love and joy and I lingered on how sweet you looked at each moment. (i still do)

I spent 3 months of my life with you with just us everyday all day. We would wake up every few hours to nurse, burp, puke, hold, kiss, kiss, kiss, sleep and repeat. Those were the best three months of my whole life. I was in absolute euphoria being your full time mama. And tried to capture as many pictures of you as possible to remember you at every moment. (it's hard to imagine you so tiny anymore)

I love when you look at me the way you do. Your eyes are always telling me how much you love me. I try to keep up with your "loving eyes" in return. But, you beat every time.

As you started to grow, your started to show your true colors. And my goodness are you so much like your daddy! You two are bestest friends in the whole world. Every time Papa would walk in a room you would light up with smiles from ear to ear.

In fact, your very first smile was... in his arms, almost immediately after you were born.

You two have been locked at the hip since day 1. Where you go he goes. When you cry he is there to mend. When you laugh he is there to laugh with you.

Before you were born there were so many things he couldn't wait to show you in life. All the things that made his childhood great. All the beauty in life that there is to appreciate. He has made it his priority to give you a beautiful childhood.

(You're doing Papa!)

Niagara falls

setting up all your new toys

gardening

parades and festivals

zoos, conservatories and randoms.

and of course... THE BEACH

You two have mastered it all together. He loves to watch you dance to "bob-ba-ran" and sings that to you every 5 seconds. He loves to play with you in the morning and watch you get chase him and him chase you around our little house.

He calls you his "twin". I am a little jealous over how much you two are alike. ;) And at the same time I love it more than you could imagine!

....................

Your feet are your censors. You touch EVERYTHING with your feet first!

You go to sleep with a soft blanket and like to rub it against the corner of your mouth. If you have no blanket, my hand or fingers will do.

You started to dance at 11 months old, at my cousin's wedding. I had never seen you do that before!

And you are such a sport about everything - even when Nana puts curlers in your hair

and bathe in her sink.

You just figured out how to laugh outloud and now that is all you want to do when you hear yourself doing it.

picture by Melanie Pace www.loft3pd.com

You also have decided that you are your own person. Very RARELY do you want us to hold your hand or help you with anything these days. You are discovering the world on your own. And we are casually there when you need us.

picture by Melanie Pace www.loft3pd.com

You are the most wonderful part of my day. I need you when I wake up and find it so difficult to lay you down by yourself when you go to sleep. But I try my best to not be overwhelming and smothering.

picture by Melanie Pace www.loft3pd.com

Life without Maria would be unimaginable. I wouldn't have it! I think that you are the most amazing little person I have ever met and discover amazing new things about you everyday.

I love you so much. Happy Birthday!

picture by Melanie Pace www.loft3pd.com

Love,
Mama

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN??

2011-08-24T08:13:00.005-04:00

I am sure anyone who continuing to read this blog, is asking me, "where have you been?"

The truth is ever since July, we have been jam packed full of weddings, work, vacation, work, Maria's birthday and work.

I am so sorry it has been forever since I have updated the blog, but trust me my next post will be all worth it.

Thank you for everyone who is continuing to read this blog. If my life is this nuts with 1 baby at home... I can't imagine what it will be like with 2 children at home - if God wants that for us.

Hang in there... I just have to download all the pictures AND HAVE PICTURES SENT TO ME. lol.

love you all, God Bless!

PS... Here is a little teaser of what's to come for the next blog

Balloon Hugs

2011-07-12T17:45:00.006-04:00

Hope and Grace's 2nd Birthday!

This year I had a little extra help in making their cake...

and how could I resist that smile,
when she asked to dig into the icing... ;)

Our finish product...
bitter-sweet
(it's a butterfly)
And as tradition has it,

Mimi brings a dozen balloons for us all to release to heaven.

And one

by one

we ALL release a balloon

In hopes that inside these balloons

are giant hugs

flying to heaven to be received by our baby girls

Until next year little darlings...

Have the best 2nd year in Heaven.

I LOVE YOU

Happy Birthday Little Darlings

2011-07-05T09:55:00.007-04:00

Happy Birthday, my baby girls.

This is a little late posting, but I realized last night I did not get to write your birthday letter.

Last night, your Papa and I were going through your cd of pictures from your birthday. My! How different it is looking at you both from when you were born. I feel like I have a new set of eyes.

We went through every picture, and I sat so close to the screen, observing details I had never noticed before. I saw things I had seen previously but now I see them with a whole new meaning. You see, your little sister looks so much like you both. It's amazing how much you three resemble each other. You have the same legs, arms, hands, feet, head shape, nose and that famous double chin! oy.

I began to really sink into those moments of holding you in my arms that day. And I realize that my love for you has deepened even more every day since.

I wasn't sure how to be a mother then, nor did I know depth of love I would be possible to have for my children. But as I went through all of your beautiful pictures, I realized that my life is incomplete if I do not love you. My world is meaningless if I do not utter your names and feel how much I miss you.

I see twins all the time. And I just feel a little pain knowing how chaoticly wonderful raising twins must be. How a double dose of trouble = a double dose of joy. There is a beauty in having a partner in life. Grace you have Hope. And Hope you have Grace. You are two partners in crime and mischeif!! ;) But also you are two partners in prayer and bringing God's message of love to all those who know you.

I see Maria and I just know she would have loved to have met you. She would love to have been running around with you girls, causing lots of craziness!! I think she would have just had the best friends in you both. Maybe someday God will give us a little brother/sister for her to run with, but for now we let her run wild with Daddy - SHE IS ATTACHED. :)

Oh girls, I love you infinitly. It was much harder this year. Celebrating your birthday this year was a little more painful. My heart ached for you to be here. I know how much I love Maria and how joyful it is to watch her grow. And knowing that I can't see you and experience all of these incredible moments with you, just kills me. I didn't know what I was missing last year. Now, I know. And now I it's a different kind of pain for your mama to have. It's just not missing you, but now it's missing being a mother to you in every little way. (gulp)

Okay, I can't dwell on that. Instead I want to gush over you. I want to gush how much I love you and greatful to have had you in my arms!! Often, I gush over the both of you the same time, but I saw something different in the both of you in the pictures and want to tell you separately.

Starting with Hope.

My darling Hope. The marshmallow baby with a joy so illuminating I can see it from Heaven. Every ultrasound you took center stage - waving and blowing bubbles. You would always show us your sweet face and give us the peace of knowing that you were doing ok.

Hope, when you were born you laid for hours over my heart. And it is so much like you to be snuggled so close to my heart. You of course, are mommy and daddy's potato chip clip. I can only imagine how our lives would be so different having our little mallow attached at the hip every minute of every day. I would love it. I wouldn't trade in a single second without you.

Baby girl, I miss you. I can't hardly say those words without choking them out. But I know you are wonderful peice of Heaven now, that everyone gets to enjoy. But I hope that when I get there, you will cling to me for eternity. :)

For Grace

My sweet Gracie. My quiet little song bird. What immense love I have to give you. Though you were so quiet in every ultrasound, barely ever did we get to see your angelic face, you impacted my heart at the sight of your birth. It was only you, who I saw with your eyes wide open looking at me. Every night before bed I close my eyes and pray. Every time I close my eyes, it is your bright and brilliant gaze I see. Though neither of us could speak in those moments of your birth I will never forget the explosion in my heart when I saw you look at me. I will never forget the life in your eyes.

Sweet Gracie... I am forever yours. I delight in the thought of telling you how much I love you every moment when I get to heaven. I am excited to share with you all the beautiful things that are happening to us as a family. And I am brought to my knees imagining what it will be like to see your face again and stare into those beautiful eyes and tell you how much I have missed you.

Darlings. I love you so much. Have a wonderful birthday party in Heaven for me. I pray I see you in my dreams.

Beautiful Distractions

2011-06-21T13:02:00.006-04:00

Oh Mariiiiiaaa!

My life is consumed by this little mush girl.

Instead of saying, "Drive Safely". It should say, "Watch Out, Your heart has been stolen and to never return".

Everyday, I get to witness life's incredibles with this little girl.

And I find myseylf dumbfounded by the joy she fills my heart with =*)

I look at her... when there is destruction and chaos all around, and somehow she makes it all better.

And then, there is this man. The love of my life. I adore him with every ounce of my being. I would go to the ends of the earth, if it meant, that I would get to love him one more second. He has been a good husband and an amazing father.

When Maria busts her lip (mommy's fault), he is there to swoop her up and kiss it to make it feel better... and of course sooth it with a Popsicle.

He is there to open the door to her little world and show her a bigger one full of God's nature and beauty.

I see in you both, beautiful distractions

Everyday, my life is consumed by you both. And I love it. You make me laugh with your silly and sometimes stubborn ways. You bring me peace with every hug. And you let me love you, no matter how wacky I am about it.

Thank you.

The time is getting close where we will celebrate Hope and Grace's 2nd birthday. The day that changed our lives forever. I will remember the long journey we took to get them here and reflect on how far we have come. My heart will certainly ache to hold them on their birthday, but I can look at you both and be able to see a piece of them in you. I will step back, look at my family, and see just how blessed I am and we are.
God has asked a lot from our family. He has asked us to be instruments of His love. And looking at you both, I see why. You are wonderful.
When we celebrate Thursday, Hope and Grace's birthday I will be EXTRA thankful for my family and how strong we are. I will hold you both a little tighter knowing, life is short but comforted that the five of us will always be together forever.

I love you.

Storybook Time

2011-05-23T14:01:00.009-04:00

There once was a girl. Her name was Maria Fidelis. ARRIBA!

Her Papa, waited a long time to have such a beautiful daughter to teach her how to take care of his beautiful garden, Hope and Grace's Garden.

Maria would spend countless hours in the hot sun, learning how to make the grass grow, care for the flowers,

and feed the animals. Se llama Pepe la Pooch. Cuidado Maria! (careful) Pooch is crazy! But you are good with the animals!

After a hard day's work, she spends the time relaxing in the cool shade, and getting ready for her siesta! (naptime)

Que Linda!? (how cute) Maria is so tired.

OH MY! Maria, you sleep so funny! Since, she has no pillow, she learned to pull down the bumper and create a pillow for herself.

This makes her mama VERY nervous to find her in such bad sleeping habits!

But when she rises from her siesta... you will find her with a HUGE SONRISA! (smile)

She is such a little beaut and brings joy to all who meet her. But special joy from her sisters, who are so proud to call her "little sister".

When she rises, she loves her walker... and runs all around the house, in and out.

When the hot sun cools down, she plays takes picnics in the yard.

Mama, tries to make her smile, but there are no sonrisas if they are demanded. You will only get a big stare!

We always have to check Maria's feet to make sure they are clean, because she always wants to put them in the dirt, the grass, the water, her mouth, her ears, her hair, mommy's mouth, daddy's mouth and on and on and on.

Maria is on neighborhood watch most of the day. She enjoys talking to the neighbors, waving at the cars and fighting crime with her ball and chain. :)

She demonstrates to the neighborhood how to make the criminals "spread em" and read them their rights.

If they start to act up

then send em to baby jail!

She finds her baby jail quite nice actually.

Maria, you are a wonderful baby. You always greet Mama and Papa with lots of hugs and kisses.
They waited for you for such a long time and now that you are here, they find the time is flying bye.
How they wish they could capture every moment with you. How they wish they could show you or tell you how wonderful they think you are. But you will know when you are older and with children of your own. You will feel what they are feeling now in these moments, and will remember them writing about these moments. This is an incredible gift God has given them to be your parents.

Their hearts are so full in loving you.

New Things

2011-05-11T09:43:00.006-04:00

Wow... has it really been a month since I have last written?

You may be asking, "Where is Luci and that little Maria"?

Well, here we aaaarre!

That's Maria's new favorite game, by the way!!... "Where's Maria?" She belly laughs when you say, "There you are!" lol.

BUT anyway. We are here folks, just a little busier than normal. Life in the past few months has been a whirlind. I find myself getting home from work and soaking in some precious time with my little Maria before she goes to bed. Time with her and Ole Man Klare (chris, =) ) is so precious these days. And after I put Maria to bed, it's time to clean the dishes, pick up the house, fold laundry, do some tasks for 1heart 2souls and then off to bed. And somewhere in the mix I try to find time to say hello and goodnight to Chris.

But I am loving this life. I find myself growing madly in love with Maria... I mean MADLY! I can't get enough of her these days. And if I weren't working, I could only imagine how many more minutes of my day I would spend kissing and squeezing her beloved face.

Every day is something new with her. And everytime I discover she is doing something new, I stop to try to savor the moment. I wish I could capture each moment and put it into an album... BUT MY CAMERA IS MYSTERIOUSLY MISSING!! (chris if you are reading this, please find it for me! thank you, honey).

So let me share some of the wonderful things off of the top of my head, Maria is doing. To you they may seem, not so significant but to me they are moments that I have longed to witness.

Maria started army crawling at 6 months... and it was but just 3 weeks later that she discovered she was strong enough to pull herself up on furniture. A few days after pulling herself up on the furniture she became a bold girl and started letting go to see if she could stand on her own. But when she gets scared of standing on her own, she flaps her arms like a duck trying to take flight out of the water! lol. IT IS A SIGHT! lol.

Maria has her own room now. We have moved our little house around to be more suitable for our growing familiy. So that if another baby comes we will be able to bunk them in our big room upstairs. She sleeps through the night now... only took her 8 1/2 MONTHS!! ugh... But she is sleeping much better - an easter gift from Jesus to Chris and I!

When she wakes up in the morning, I watch her from our video camera and laugh to myself as she plays in her crib. She rolls around, pulls down the bumpers, stamds up, gnaws on the crib - WITH HER NEW TEETH, and waits for me to hold my hands out to the crib and say "goooood morning mawia!!" She waits for me with a smile from ear to ear. How my heart swells to see her long for me to hold her! It is such an amazing feeling.

Recently Maria has also discovered to jump on Mama and Papa's bed. AND SHE LOVES IT!! She holds on to my fingers and bounce her little frog legs up and down until Mama's arms are sore!

Speaking of FROG LEGS... oy vei... Those things never stop going! She has those legs "frogging" when she eats, when she sleeps, when she baths and every moment in between. They just curl in and out, they fling up, down and side to side. Instead of rubbing her eyes when she is tired, she puts her feet up to mouth, then her eyes, and then rubs her ears - WITH HER FEET! :) she loves to feel her feet! heehee...

I could go on and about how all of these little things that Maria does are so amazing to me, but I would have to write a NOVEL. And I will spare you from that.

But I am learning, that motherhood with Maria can be wonderful... it's more than wonderful. I have the best of both world with my family. I have experienced a love so profound in the pregnancy and life with Hope and Grace. And still discovering my love for that life and their heavenly existance. And with Maria I am able to watch her grow and aid her in living a life that will get her to Heaven also.

But I think it is my children who are giving me the biggest gift of love. They are truly making me a better person and giving me the tools I need to make it Heaven!

1heart 2souls

2011-04-01T12:03:00.003-04:00

We are very happy to announce the release of the 1heart2souls website

http://www.1h2s.com/

http://www.1heart2souls.org/

It is our hope that you will find it worthy of referring it to expecting parents who have received a poor prognosis for their baby in utero, received news that their infant has a disability, or are suffering from the loss of an infant.

We hope we can provide the compassion and resources families need. Our work has just commenced. Please help us help others! Share your resources and stories with us

God Bless

humbly:

The 1h2s team

Theresa Gray

Luci Klare

Marylou Slonkosky

Patty Slonkosky

Susan Purcell

Mary Anne Gronotte

Malissa Frohlich

I'mmmmm BAaaaaAAck!

2011-03-22T20:25:00.027-04:00

Well, I am so sorry it has been AGES since I have made a post, but there is very good reason for that!
For one, I have a SEVEN month old little girl CRAWLING! And it is not easy to find a few moments to spare when I am not kissing her cheeks. Secondly, my mom and aunts have been working vigorously on 1heart 2souls organization (details next post, promise).

I am loving motherhood. I think it is truly the greatest gift I have ever been given. People think I am exaggerating when I say, "I can cry right now just thinking about how much I love my girls" but it's the absolute truth. I can pretty much wail at any point in time thinking about how much joy have in my life by my children and hubs!

Speaking of ... My partner in crime Chris, is my very bestestestest friend in all the world... I love him with every single ounce of my being. HOWEVER... WHY o WHY did you get to pass all of your genes on to our children??? Don't I get a slice?

Let's take a look at these pictures... apparrently I need to be taking some "gene" vitamins so the next baby looks like me!

WHO LOOKS LIKE DADDY??

Smiles and Stares, they are definitely Klare's

It HURTS... oh... WHY?!! lol.. ok, I exaggerate a little

But I can get through it when I get to look at this all day!

How do you do?!

Whoa... What do you do? hee hee.

WHO LOOKS

LIKE DADDY??

Maria does!

Loving my life!

Beautiful Beginnings

2011-02-15T16:12:00.005-05:00

There are moments in my life which I have made sure to capture, for memories’ sake. I have always planned ahead to have a camera ready to capture my engagement, wedding and any other special occasions. But in the most life changing moments of my children being born, I needed someone to not only take pictures, but to also grasp what was stirring in our hearts. I sought out Melanie’s help.

When pregnant with my twins, we received the devastating news that their lives would be short lived. I was carrying my conjoined daughters, sharing a single heart and had a 1% chance of living after being born. We prepared ourselves to the best of our ability, to be sure to mentally capture the time we held our girls in our arms; but in such a whirlwind of emotion, it was easy to get caught up in the moment and forget the simplest things. Melanie gave us the chance to discover what we hadn’t noticed such as the wrinkles on their feet, the shape of their eyes, the curl in their hair, the crease on Grace’s ear, the little nose on Hope. She also gave us the chance to always recall the embrace of them holding each other and the love that we shared in that room.

You can read her take here on our blog, or here at their blog.

I could not have trusted something so important to anyone else. I entrusted her with the task of snapping all of the memories we will ever have of our daughters. And we are forever grateful that she so humbly accepted this huge undertaking. The day our girls were born I was soaking up every ounce of time I had with my children, I barely remember her there. I can recall two instances when I remember her in my room. I remember the hug and tear we shed together before I was pulled back for my cesarean and the relief I felt that she was going to be there. And I remember what she said and continued repeating when she first met my girls, “How beautiful”.
We now pull out those pictures of Hope and Grace and wrap ourselves in those heavenly moments that we have placed around our house of which, we have added the pictures of the birth of our third daughter, Maria. Melanie was also present (FOR 8 HOURS) to capture Maria birth, of which we are forever indebted to her for.

Melanie has recently started Beautiful Beginnings - Cincinnati Birth Photography. She and her partner are willing to capture the lives of many many many babies being born into embrace of their mothers and fathers. You can find more information on their website.
I am thankful to call her my friend and humbled by her incredible talents. She has been given the amazing ability to see through her lens what our eyes cannot and what our hearts are feeling.
Thank you, Mel! WE LOVE YOU!

Valentines Day

2011-02-14T11:24:00.007-05:00

L. O. V. E.

I say this a lot. I say this to God in prayer. I say this to my children. I say it to Chris. I say it to my mom and dad, my in-laws and all my brothers, sisters and friends. I say it so much that it sometimes can lose it's true meaning, if I don't really think before I say it.

Love is what I give freely to you. And if I really mean it, it means that I will love you unconditionally. Whether you chose to love me in return.

What a great thing, right?
Yes!
but allow me to explain further...

Love is not this thing that comes in a box with a bow around it. It is not a bouquet of flowers. Love is not a singing quartet, a dinner, a movie or any jewelry. Love is not saying "I love you". Love is not a hug, a kiss and it is not "making love". Love is not any of those things that the world will try to explain in a hallmark card. It is nothing physically bound.

(although, I do enjoy all of these things. :) )

But let me tell you what love is (in my humble opinion).

Love is this pain I feel in my chest that when I think about you, I am overwhelmed to the point of tears and can hardly catch my breath.

Love is knowing that today you are going to screw up so bad, I will want to slap the back of your head and then kiss it to make it feel better.

Love is being on alert at all times for whatever you may need. I will go to all of the ends of the earth to show you I love you, even if you don't ask, expect or return my sentiments.

Love is constantly finding the joy between us even when there is sadness and turmoil.

Love is when I am without you, I long to be in your arms and you in mine.

Love is when you change into someone else I do not know, or even someone I do not like, I will continue to love you.

Love is dying a million deaths if that meant for you to let me love you one more second.

Love is praying for you and desiring you to get to Heaven, and get there right away.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily
angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but
rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes,
always perseveres. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a)
This is how much I love you. I am not perfect, but I will try to love you perfectly.

IF you are so lucky to love someone like this or to have someone love you in this manner - consider yourself blessed.

And if you ever doubt that there is not anyone who loves you this much...
He- you know who I am referring too-loves you even more than this!

Boots

2011-02-07T11:40:00.007-05:00

This weekend was truly, in every essence of the word, bitter-sweet.

We lost Grandma Piper last week (chris' mom's mother). As many better knew her, "boots".

I can't speak for any of the family as I am sure they all have many more fond memories of her, but i would like to share one of my favorite times spent with her:

For the past four years that I knew Boots, I knew her as a gem. Every Sunday, was Sunday Dinner at the Klare's. Bootsy would come along and have her highball and few appetizers before every meal. She would sit and listen to us crazy Klare's talk and gab and many times get into our infamous "heated" discussions, in the fun loving way we always do. Jerry ( my father-in-law) loved to tease her. He would tease her and rattle her up, and you would hear grandma say, "OH JERRY!" She loved every ounce of the teasing. Dinner was always pass the meat, the bread and condiments and hold the green veggies. To Boots that was YACK! After dinner - especially on the back porch, Jerr would play some old music and Grandma would tap her feet and wave her hand. In many cases of the really good songs, she would sing along and even do a little dance with her hands... Linda (my mother-in-law) would bring out desert and we would all sit there talking and loving her company. And of course she would ask for the time over and over again, so she wouldn't be late getting home. But she was always willing to stay a little longer for one more bite of something sweet.

But this summer was a turn for Boots. After her fall, she just didn't regain herself like she used to be. Don't get me wrong, she still had SPUNK. But the spunk was fading as she longed for "home". Home was with her husband, Bud - Grandpa Piper. Grandpa Piper passed 10 years prior and to what I hear, he was every bit similar to Chris-minus the random quick temper ;)

I envision my life to be the same if I ever lost my husband. Just waiting for God to call my number and to reunite me with him. She waited patiently for the most part; and in some cases, she would tell us that she was darn out mad about it taking so long. :) that's her - that's her spunk! :)

But the timing was right. She got to see her the first grandchild Malia, get married. Which, really meant the world to Malia. She got to hold her great-grandchild. Most importantly she got to see all her children and they got to tell her they loved her and she them. And then, when it was perfect in His timing He wrapped her in His love and brought her home. She is now united with her love, Bud. She is now playing cards and dipping her pretzels in her bourbon cokes with her family. She is also now soaking up the little hugs from her two first great grandchildren Hope and Grace. And I am sure they are all up there tapping their toes and doing that "hand dance" that she always did.

Boots will be sorrowfully missed and though she is no longer physically here, she is an irreplaceable part of our family. I will miss her terribly as she started off as "boots" to me and then she became my grandma.

For all of her children and all of her grandchildren take comfort that heaven is a place full of those she has been longing to be with and she will always be longing to be with you again.

And especially to my mother-in-law... Thank you for all you have done for Grandma. Words can not express.

inside my ultrasound

2011-01-25T12:41:00.004-05:00

Hi...
Remember this picture? This was one of the twins little legs and feet at just 16 weeks old.

Yesterday was the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade

My heart has been so solemn knowing what this has meant for the mothers and fathers in our country.

Yesterday, Chris, Maria and I said our night prayers and we prayed for the babies all over the world who have been aborted. We also prayed for their mothers who aborted them. And the reality of what that means hit....

I remember looking at this tiny foot. I remember knowing that that foot was part of four feet fluttering and kicking inside of me. It was a part of a four knees that jabbed into my sides and made me laugh. It was apart of four tiny arms that hugged each other and hugged me. It was apart of 2 bodies that floated and squirmed and danced in my belly everyday. It was apart of 1 heart that sang to me and spoke to me when I listened to it at my weekly ultrasounds. It was apart of 2 souls that were waiting... waiting... waiting to be born. That foot was apart of two lives forever changed my life.

You see her there. You see her in this ultrasound still. If you could have seen moments after this, you would have seen her hug her sister with her two arms. You would have seen her tug her sisters ear. You would have seen her wave at her parents and kick her feet in a somersalt.
You would have seen life. This is life.

Pray for these most precious and delicate lives that grow in our bodies to be protected and given a chance to be held and loved.

From natural life to natural death. Amen.

Make Like MUSTARD And KETCHUP!

2011-01-18T12:20:00.007-05:00

For weeks now, I have been contemplating the big question: "When to start Maria on baby cereal"... I would place my spoon to her mouth and she would never open it up to take a "fake bite". I was grateful, as I was seriously not ready for her to eat baby cereal - big step.

For some, they may wonder what the big deal is, but for me, it is a very big deal. My little girl is growing up so fast. I mean, just months ago she could barely even keep her eyes uncrossed, and now she is sitting up and watching us eat and drooooooling.

Saturday, I was out to eat with my friends, and we had a little desert. I was putting spoonfulls of creme brulee in my mouth while Maria watched me - drooling uncontrollably like the Niagara Falls.

So I put my spoon to her mouth and chomp. She was ready for some food on that spoon.

It was time.

Behold:

The Chair

The Reach

The First Bite.

I continued to feed her a little more - about 1 tablespoon full of oatmeal and 3 tablespoons of milk. She liked it - a little.

Who am I kidding, she was shoving it in there!

Papa fed her a few bites for the first time.

Of course, she is always so happy when he is around. They are two of the EXACT KIND!

She gleamed in satisfaction.

And when it was all over, we were all happy about the accomplishments.

God is good.

These milestones are very hard to start in the beginning, but once you get started it's a blast!

Happy 5 Months baby girl...

YES, you were worth the wait!

missin u

2011-01-17T12:15:00.002-05:00

Dear Hope and Grace,

I am missing you more than ever, lately. It's weird how these feelings just pop out of nowhere.

I feel as though I had reached a point where missing you wasn't so extremely painful. But I was wrong. The truth is, I think that I just want you here again with all of us. I want the additional chaos of my twins being 1 1/2 year olds.

People may think I am crazy for wanting the chaos, but being your mama is what I am meant to do. Chaos is what I love. It is where I find the most joy. And I guess I just imagine what it would be like if you were here with Maria, Papa and I.

I would be insanely unput together. Who knows if you would get baths, or read stories, or fed healthy appropriate meals. Who knows if I would dress myself on a daily bases or just stay in my robe and drink gallons of coffee through the day just to keep up with you three. Who knows?

But I wish it were true. I wish you were here and we would snuggle in bed as much as you wanted. We would play and sing as many songs we could rattle off and watch how Maria would smile at our silly behaviour. I wish you would run around the house, while i would be chasing you down with Maria in my arms and baby spit up trailing behind me. And when your papa came home we could all tackle him down and he would love it. Oh how I could only wish! We would be happy. There would be countless squeezes and smooches. That I know!

You see girls, your little sister is getting bigger. She is starting to do all of these amazing things. She is 5 months old today and I think I am going to start her on cereal tonight. I wish you were here to celebrate this milestone. I wish you were here for me to celebrate your milestones.

But the voice in the back of my head says, "Now, luci... you know that have already reached the ultimate milestone."

It doesn't matter. I still want to hold you. I still want you. I still ache for you and for our family to be together. (oh, well, hello tears. I thought you would be flooding in right about now)

Oh girls! I am a nutcase! haahaa. At least I can smile through these tears. I have to remember heaven and you are just a prayer away. Maria is going to have to learn how to deal with these emotions of mine, huh? lol...

I love you, girls. I always will.

Crying it out - all of us

2011-01-13T12:49:00.006-05:00

Lately, everyone asks me, "How is Maria doing?" I typically answered the question in a very bubbly manner, "She is doing great!"
However, since the holidays, I have had to answer, "She isn't sleeping, I am not sleeping and we are about to lose it!"
For the past two weeks I have been waking up every two hours trying to get her to go back to sleep. I would talk to moms who have children Maria's age and their babies were sleeping 6 to 8 hours and the moms looked so refreshed. Where as I have had a nagging twitch in my eye that gets even more gnarly when I am frustrated or exert any type of energy. The Source - Maria waking up throughout the night.
One more day and I would not survive.
I had to pull my resources of mothers with a plan.
If there is any such a mom whose children practically beg to take naps and go to bed at exactly there bed time it is my sister, Jacque.
I called her in agonizing distress over our situation and she gave me the following advice, "GET MARIA ON A SCHEDULE".
She said that it is the best for the baby and for the parents to have a schedule of which she can be used to. When she knows when she will be fed, played with and put down to sleep. And numerous moms have told me that during the night not to nurse / feed the baby a ginormous chocolate shake, cuz then every night in the middle of the night, every two hours they are going to want a chocolate shake! of COURSE! duh!
Maria needs to associate night time with bed time... sleeping not eating and holding.

Night 1

Maria went down at 8:45 and screamed to the heavens for someone to hold her. This went on until midnight.

While she was crying I would get up every 15 minutes to hold her for a second, give her a kiss, lay her back down and then lay in my bed only to cry while saying the rosary that she would sleep better! I begged for help!
however, I caved. At midnight I pulled her into my bed only to have her sleep like a babe as soon as I picked her up.
She still woke up every 2 hours after that.

Night 2

7:30 pm Maria got a bath, fed her, read a book, prayed and pulled all of the angels and saints prayers with me to ask the Lord for a goodnight's rest for my little Maria. I begged Hope and Grace to hold her through the night, so she knew that Klare Love was caressing her through the night.
at 8:00 pm I kissed her, layed her down, and then left the room.
10 minutes later - OUT! She actually fell asleep on her own.
She did wake up again at 9:00 to cry for about 30 minutes and after a kiss and quick, "I love you baby" she finally settled down to fall asleep.

I layed in my bed next to her crib and contemplated this for a long while.

I always asked the Lord for a baby who loved to be held and cuddled. AND I GOT IT! ;)
But I am the one who has to learn self control. That what is loving Maria too much and always being at her call may not be the best for her. I have to have self control and balance my love for her. That loving her is also helping her to do learn how to do things on her own. Loving her is giving her the ability to know that Papa and I are ALWAYS there, but in somethings she has the ability to much more on her own. Never-the-less I will pick her up and squeeze and kiss her in her waking hours as MUCH AS I WANT! That is just non-negotiable!

It is only natural that we "over love" Maria since Hope and Grace aren't here, but love is also in discipline- on both ends - which we are quickly learning.

The Result
Maria got a GREAT night's sleep and so did Mama and Papa!
And she woke up in great big gummy smiles to let us know that.

Continue to pray for me as this parenting thing is not as easy as I once thought! :)
But it sure is the better than I ever could have imagined!

2011-01-04T10:57:00.003-05:00

An amazing article in the New York Times about the unborn paradox.

This topic has been crazy on my mind lately. Especially as my family and I are starting our non-profit organization to protect this fragile thing called LIFE in utero.

It is amazing how mothers everyday are losing their children in utero to stillbirth, chromosomal disorders, miscarraige and countless other reasons. These mothers are grieving the loss of these lives they have never met or fighting to get them here and hold them -- even just for a little while.

anyway... i encourage you to read

Merry Christmas, little Darlings!

2010-12-27T12:51:00.010-05:00

Merry Christmas!

Maria and I woke up Christmas Eve eve to head to Nana's house for a little Christmas cookie baking. It was a day filled with laughter and fun as we hung out and played monopoly (four hours of it), indulged in some cookies, a round of jenga and pictionary to boot!

Maria was so tired during pictionary she was falling asleep on my lap as I was shouting, "two turtle doves!"

What a great day!

The next day we headed over to Mimi's!

Mimi always throws the best Christmas parties!

And the whole family could hardly wait to have Maria open up her Christmas gifts.

Christmas morning we headed back to Nana's for Santa's gifts!

It was fun watching Maria open gifts (even though it took her 1/2 hour per gift!) ;)

Chris and I are so greatful for all the very nice gifts given to us and Maria this Christmas. But this year more than ever, have I really realized that Christmas is not at all about the gifts we receive, but the intangibles we already have.

I felt the strong sense of celebrating the importance of family being together and how these moments are so important.
I am thankful for the gift of being a daughter, sister and friend. I can't tell you what gems I have in my life with my friends, my in-laws and my immediate family!
I felt even stronger how beautiful it is the gift of being a wife and mother. I was especially thankful for this gift this year. Chris and I have not had the easiest road starting off these past two years, but yet, I find myself still in love with him as I have from the beginning.
I am thankful to have my three girls. Two in heaven celebrating such a beautiful day, and showering our families with blessings from heaven. And I have one baby in my arms to squeeze, kiss and shower my love on.

THIS Christmas was a beaut! And it was all because of a little baby! No, not Maria!!!
Baby Jesus!
And soo... Merry Christmas to all my loved ones: family and friends. Thank you for making this year's Christmas so special and joyful. I appreciate you in more ways than you can imagine!
Merry Christmas Christopher. I love you, babe. I may not have been able to buy you the most lavished gifts this year, but you have my whole heart and always will.
And Merry Christmas my little darlings. There are no words to describe your gift to me, this Christmas.

and at the end of Christmas jubilation...
we found ourselves zonked from all the celebration!

Pwepewing 4 Cwissmas!

2010-12-20T12:03:00.019-05:00

I forgot to post Maria's 4 month updates!
WEIGHT: 14lbs 9oz (75th percentile)
HEIGHT: 25 1/2 inches long(90th percentile)

YOU ROCK OUR WORLD, UPSIDE-DOWN!

First, visit with Santa!

I can't believe you are 4 months old. It has been the most joyful time of my life having you here.

Let me tell you, there have been challenges.

You are a little naughty when you are tired. You like to squirm into a good position in our arms and squeel a little cry until you sleep.

When you are hungry, YOU ARE HUNGRY. You have this funny little wimper "eh, eh, eh, eh" that you repeat until the milk reaches your mouth.

You LOVE to be held. And we all love to hold you! Our worlds stop when you are around. No laundry, no vacuuming, no dishes and no completing any To Do lists of any kind. Because, quite simply, we can't put you down.

You are bored easily. You love to be talked to and played with. There is no leaving you alone. :)

And there are also all the amazing things about you.

Like when your Papa and I wake up in the morning and we pull you in our bed and just laugh and snuggle till we have skipped breakfast and ready for lunch.

You are such a treasure in the morning.

Or when you get your shy smile and look away whenever your Papa tells you, "Hi, pretty girl".

I love when we can lay down on the bed together, just you and I rolled over on our sides, facing each other, and just be us. I can sing to you, you can "coo" at me. It's heavenly bliss!

You are still waking up at night to eat, and though it is hard for me to get out of bed, I wouldn't trade that quiet time for the world. You need me and I need you.

You have just started rolling over. Which increases my anxiety, but it's a fun new thing that you are beginning to do, which means your are growing up and becoming a new little person, not just a newborn anymore. (gulp)

Your Papa and I are obsessed with kissing your cheeks and talking baby talk.

We have a tewwibble habbit of fowagettting to pwonounce ouwa aws.

(we have a terrible habit of foregetting to pronounce our r's)when talking to you.

It's just too fun to baby talk with you and we probably get more of a kick out of it than you do!
You also like books more. I read to you after feedings and you can sit through almost 3 books! You are getting so SMAWT! (oops, sorry. Can't help it)

Speaking of reading I am going to buy "The Night Before Christmas" to read to you Christmas Eve!

I'd like to make this a new tradition with all my little ones.

I am so excited beyond imagination to celebrate Christmas with our little family this year. I have been singing, "It's the MOST WONDERFUL TIIIMMMEEE OF THE YEEARRR!!" for about 5 days straight in preparation for your first Christmas.

I know you won't remember it, but everyone who loves you and spends this Christmas with you this year, will never forget it.

Maria, with having you this Christmas and our hearts so full of love and joy, it can bring us literally to our knees in thanksgiving to Our Lord.

Christmas is ALL about the birth of the baby Jesus. I can only imagine Mary and Joseph's great expectation for His arrival. And I reflect on the Child Jesus and the importance of His birth.

As we reflect on Jesus' birth and how beautiful this moment is. The magnitude of this moment.

Papa and I remember our 3 little ones.

As your Papa says, "the closer Christmas gets, the more choked up I am getting"

The joy we felt with holding your sisters and the joy we feel holding you fills our hearts and overflows our souls.

We will never forget the magnitude of each of your births.

A baby is coming. A baby is coming. The Father is giving us The Saviour

May all fall in love and remember this baby's life. Fill our hearts with Peace. Fill our hearts with joy. Make us forever yours.

We remember you and love you baby Jesus.

Merry Christmas!

The list never ends, b/c I never get it started

2010-12-10T12:45:00.004-05:00

No one ever told me that once you have a little baby take over your life, that it does just that, TAKE OVER YOUR LIFE!
I have made a TO DO hit list for myself everyday for the past two months since I have been back to work, and guess what? I CAN NEVER GET ANYTHING DONE!
So far, I have not completed my thank you notes - of which I have so many beautiful people to thank. Laundry is hanging from the ceiling fans. Diapers are floating in the air. My hair has not been cut since last february. Dogs are crying for attention and shedding everywhere. I have even taken 2 weeks to get to the post office just to buy a single stamp for my niece's birthday card! But worst of all, I looked at my refrigerator this morning to see if i could grab some breakfast and saw this desparity!

Not only have i neglected to clean my frigidaire, but i have also neglected going to the grocery store! oh my goodness! What in the world have we been living on!?
I guess I need to put Maria down a little more often. Detach my lips from her cheeks and start getting it together. Thank Heavens, Chris doesn't complain about my lack of togetherness. I am working on it, honey. Thanks for being patient and not telling me you are starving all the time! lol.

Maria, almost 4 months....

2010-12-07T09:25:00.007-05:00

As all of you know, my friend Melanie is just the most amazing person I know. She is always so giving of her time and talent to others. I totally have Mel's number on speed dial for whenever I need her for any advice and moral support. I have called on her when trying to put together my wedding, wanting to do natural birth classes, how to nurse, put together a christmas card, talking about our faith, and of course capturing memorable family moments.
She is such an authentic woman, mother and wife. I can't get enough of her or her little girl Nori - to me, Norita!
Last weekend Mel, Norita, Maria and I spent a day hanging out and playing catch up over some desperately needed friend time. She also took some SWEET pics of Maria for me to capture her this new phase she is going through. Go to Mel's Blog and take a look for yourself! Prepare to melt!

Days like these, you can really feel the devil.

2010-12-06T15:10:00.006-05:00

without too much detail...

It's days like these when you can really feel the devil at your heels. Nothing makes sense, everything is going wrong... you feel unconsolably hurt, mad and just victimized.

Yesterday, was great.

Today I am a mess. I am filled with anxiety and completely tempted by my thoughts to give up, to put blame where it shouldn't be put, to fight when there is no need.

I know the devil is real. He knows the Good that God is sewing back into my heart. The devil can see how I am fighting temptation. I am praying more. I am trying to change. I desire Heaven more than ever. He knows it, and hates it.

Dear God,
Do not allow this to ruin me this day. Do not allow me to grow
hard of heart.
Allow me the strength to confront this
head on, with love,
respect, patience and courage.
Grant me humility.
Change my heart O Lord... I am yours.

feeling anew already....

remembering not to forget

2010-12-03T15:27:00.007-05:00

Recently, I have been reading more and more about woman who have lost their children. I find it more prevelant than I have before. When, discussing with close friends and family, it's no wonder why people say "it's a miracle!" when a baby is born healthy. The reality is, so many women suffer from loss!

Lately, it has been almost unbearable to read the stories of mother's who have carried and lost. I end up crying and turning off my computer almost immediately. Or I read and spend hours just running their stories through my mind and heart and aching for them.

Why is it so hard for me to go there with them?

I think it is hard to go back to that place I was just a year ago. I read how all of these beautiful women are just trying to survive each day in the hopes that it won't be a repeat of yesterday's misery. I can literally feel their emotional roller coaster of waking up and wondering if their lives will just shatter like their hearts already have.

The reality is that no one. NO ONE PERSON AT ALL could ever feel how a mother feels when she has lost her child. There is a despair so deep that it penetrates every single act of life.

But we have to ask. What can we do!?

DO NOT FORGET TO PRAY

Now that I have Maria I see how so many things have changed in my heart. It has most definitely filled a void of not having my little Hope and Grace around. But even though I have Maria in my arms, I can't forget that first act of motherhood I was given that single handedly links me to millions of women - giving my babies to God. I cannot shy away from joining them in prayer.

For all the mothers who have not had their "rainbow baby", and may never, I couldn't imagine the loneliness their heart must feel. Especially at Christmas.

But it is good. It is soo good to read their stories, to continue to pray for them and encourage them to keep writing and to keep pouring their hearts out because in this, they are able to mend slowly.

There is no love like love through prayer.

Please pray for the mothers who have lost a baby. Please make this your gift to them this Christmas season.

Just keep running... ok. walking, forward.

2010-11-28T13:34:00.007-05:00

About once a year I attempt something physically demanding that I almost immediately regret once I start. Last year, it was a mile high climb up up up a mountain. This year, it was the Turkey Day 10 K in downtown. And I didn't do any training. LOL!

WHAT WAS I THINKING?

I knew that I would never attempt such a feat on my own, so I recruited some real runners, Gabe and Kevin. I knew with their help and encouragement I would make it across the finish line. I think they seriously regretted going with me as I walked most of the race. They both were chomping at the bit to run ahead of me and finish BEFORE 2 hours (lol), but I REALLY APPRECIATED THE COMPANY!

Ok, I was posing for this pic. I don't really look like this when I run.
Or do i?

We finished!

The night before Turkey day, we had a little fun out at Montgomery Inn. YUM. Chels, always the center of F-U-N! Dave, always the center of dazed and confused! ;) just kiddn uncle dave.

Kevin, a natural with babies. Maria was so comfy in her uncle's arms!

The weather is changing, which means I have to bundle Maria up especially warm. Chris and I had a good belly laugh when we put Maria in this warm pappooos. Chris said, and i quote "Ralphie, You'll shoot your eye out!"

It was my thoughts exactly Chris. She looks like the kids from A Christmas Story.

I am trying to remember to pray with Maria. It's too terribly easy to get caught up in life and not pray with her. But it is definitely something I cherish that my mom did with me that I want to do with my children as well.

Well, it can't be too hard to remember to pray with her when she is already in position.

Don't you just melt when you see her hands folded in angelic pose? I love!

I pray that all my family and friends had a blessed weekend and are ready for Christmas!!

This year I have a special gift for baby Jesus and hope to share soon.

Make this Christmas especially prayerful and holy.

3 Months

2010-11-18T20:06:00.015-05:00

Happy 3 months, moo moo!

This week you have learned so many new things.

Like how to sit up (for a second) , smile when i tickle your arms, and grab at anything you see!

We Celebrated Nana and Grandaddy's 40th Anniversary. It was such a special moment for your Grandparents. What an example of love they give to us all! They are happier than ever.

________________________________________________

Sunday was your baptism!

I will never wait this long again for one of my children to get baptized, but I am so happy that ALL the family was there to see you receive your first Sacrament of Baptism! Maria, this one sacrament forever links you to your sisters! With this gift you can now look forward to being with Jesus in Heaven! And guess who else? Yep, Hope and Grace!!!

Your Baptism was at Blessed Sacrament Church

Deacon Jim was so excited to welcome you into the Church, as were we all!

Your Godparents: Uncle Dave and Auntie Jessica

ps... Maria, you are so very tempermental these days! :)

_________________________________________________

This week your Papa has set up a new play toy for you! Your exer saucer! And you loved it! I guess, playing with mama's fingers on her lap, just isn't going to cut it anymore!

Papa's little girl

Maria, you are growing so fast. (gulp) Just yesterday you were squished up in your little ball sleeping the day away. Now you are stretched out ready to play, interracting with your toys and lighting up when we tickle you. I must say, your Papa and I just adore you so much.

Almost every day your Papa pulls me aside to tell me "I just love my little girl".

We are so proud to be your parents. We are so blessed to have you in our arms to wake up to your gummy smiles and kiss your snoring face goodnight. I cherish every moment I am with you and ache when we are apart.

I can't help to imagine what it would be like with your sisters here. Although, I am so glad to have them in Heaven to pray for us, because when you scream... the roof raises and the foundation shakes! I hope your Jeckel and Hyde moments are just a phase! :)

How could I not love these moments!?

I do. I do. I do love you!

BOOs and HOOs

2010-11-01T22:03:00.013-04:00

Hoo's this you see Maria?

This is your Great Grandma Piper, "Boots". We love her so much. It was a special day when you got to meet her for the first time, and she was in awe of how cute you are. Boots is one of the best grandma's any kid can have! Just ask your Papa all the stories he has with her. What a special woman she is, and how blessed we are to have her.

We dragged both of you from your lunch to meet each other, but only one of you were ok with that! :)

Boo hoo And HOO is this I see? Little cousin Sophie!!! Hope, Grace and Sophie were all due within weeks of each other. They became very close in the womb. And as Auntie Jess always says, soph is always talking to the girls and looking towards Heaven at them.

Maria, you have a lot of catching up to do, to keep up with this little girl. She is walking and running all over the place. But I am sure you will be best of cousins!

BOOOO!!!!! Mia is not so scary but a little scary in her 80's outfit! Boy does she bring back memories of your Aunts in the 80's. But Mia is always out for a fun time and lots of laughs. And we sure did get lots of laughs with her on Halloween! :)

BOOO!! It was fun dressing you up for Halloween! You were the sweetest little "Tink" I ever did see! And it was fun playing dress up for a little while.

Fly Tinkerbell!

So gentle and darling, is my sweet fairy!A Boo Hoo Moment:

So today started your first of many with Nana. I have returned back to work full time and can't spend every waking moment with you, like we did the first 10 weeks of your life. It's hard to give you up Maria. It's so very hard. Everytime I even think of your sweet chubby cheeks I get a lump in my throat. But I know you are in the very best of hands with Nana. And as you can see, she does everything to make me feel like I am right there with you, so I don't miss a thing and I know you are being loved.

Your first progress report:

I am glad you are getting lots of kisses from Nana and Auntie Mia, but now it's my turn.

How can I resist this?
I love you little one. And soon we will be back to the old days just you, me and the whole day ahead of us. I promise.

WARNING! for what you are about to witness....

2010-10-27T08:31:00.006-04:00

If you have a queezy stomach, do not read!

This weekend we celebrated my father-in-law's birthday. We celebrated a yummy dinner and a nice evening as a family when............ DISASTER STRUCK!

Ummm... Yeah, gross! While i was yelling for help, my in-laws took pictures! SOME KINDA HELP! :)
Lesson learned: Never have baby directly over face!
Maria, you are a little rascal! But I love you!

New York! New York!

2010-10-20T14:52:00.022-04:00

Every year the Klare family has made it a tradition to head to New York for a little relaxation and family time to enjoy the fall beauty.

Here we are at Brown's Berry Patch where they have apple orchards, pumpkin patches and everything a little kid could enjoy - who isn't 2 months old. hehee.. Sorry Maria you will have to enjoy the pics. Next year we will let you do the corn maze and the fun activities they had to offer. :)

Instead, I will enjoy them for you. By the way, this picture is a premonition of my future.

Right, honey?

You can always count on fun with, Papaw!

Later we went to the dairy farm with our friend Maureen, and boy O boy did we love the cows!
MOOOOOO!!

Can I pick this pumpkin?

Thanks Maureen for the tour!

Look at this beautiful family!

NIAGARA! AW!

Mimi, Maria and me enjoying the falls!

(whistle) WOOO WOOO! Nice eyes baby!

Linda... you are so FUN! Love you!

Inside the falls. An unbelievable sight!
Please notice the two rainbows. Call it coincidence, but I think Hope and Grace gave us a little sign to say they were there with us! Wish you girls were in our arms, but we thank you for the rainbows!
Papaw on Maria watch. He doesn't do boats and water. He is a great sitter!

And yes he wore my "pappoos" as he calls it. He seriously loved it!

I am so blessed for my family. I love this life that I have and all those who I can call family. God is so good. Thank you Jesus for this day, for the beauty in nature we are given to enjoy; and for the friends and family we are given to share it with. Thank you for the love you have for us to live another day. Allow me never to take these moments for granted. Amen.

A visit to always remember

2010-10-02T17:43:00.012-04:00

Maria, last weekend your Papa and I went down to help my aunts and uncle landscape my grandparents front yard. While there I knew it would a perfect time to catch some of the moments with your great granparents - as they are in their 90's and time is more precious now than it has ever been. I want you to always remember this time. I hope these pictures capture how beautiful this moment was. Grandma and Grandpa Zuniga have always been so special to me. And I hope that when you get older and see this pictures you will cherish these moments with them, like I did, living in the moment while they were holding you.

Grandma has alzheimer's now, but she doesn't let it define her. She is still as strong and witty as she has ever been. When we arrived to their house and I held you she couldn't believe that you were mine. She kept asking, "who's baby is that?" and I kept replying "she is my baby." In her mind I think she kept seeing me as the curly haired little girl that would follow her around the house asking for more of her homemade tortillas. She couldn't believe that I was 26. But I thanked Jesus in those moments, because I felt so blessed that she knew who I was. After all, I am her in almost every way from attitude, personality, hair to our names - Lucia.

She loved you when she saw you Maria. She kept an eye out for you wherever we went that day. She kept telling me, "Put socks on that baby!" "Put a hat on that baby, or she'll get colic!" Well, guess what you are a little colic. As I held you in my arms and she still questioned that you were mine she looked at me in total dismay saying, "you know nothin about babies, lucia!" I couldn't believe it! I laughed and laughed! But it is true... I am still learning Maria. Your great-grandmother has had 15 children and if anyone knows about mothering, it would be her. You, Nana and I are blessed to have such a matriarch to follow. I desire you to have her playful spirit, her strength and beauty. However if there is one thing I don't desire you to pick up is calling me "big momma" like she did all day! :)... Once she found out you were almost 10 lbs, she kept saying, " you are big momma!" You were blessed to have this time.

Grandpa Zuniga... How I love! He has always been a quiet man and a hard worker. I see so many characteristics that in Grandpa that I cherish in your Papa too. They work hard with their hands, they are men of little words but many actions, and they are men of great faith. As your great grandpa held you he recalled how he had held so many babies through the years and would hold one in his arms while bouncing another on his legs. The way he looked at you and sang to you Maria, was so beautiful. I was so proud to call him my grandfather in that moment. And Grandpa was so proud that I married such a wonderful man who could landscape his yard and have a beer with him. My heart was so full to hear that he approved of your Papa.

You and Auntie Lucy

I hope that you will always cherrish this moment I captured of you in their arms. I love you.

Dress up!

2010-10-01T13:27:00.012-04:00

Maria: "Momma, I am bored"
Momma: "Well, Let's play Dress up!"

One of the best things about being a mommy is getting to dress my little girl up.

This week we received a package in the mail from cousin Anna, who designs all of her own headbands and cute girly accessories for her business with etsy - IN HONOR OF DESIGN.

One of my fondest memories growing up was going to Aunt Jessi's to play dress up with my cousins Maria, Anna, Tricia and Angela.

Now I am so excited for Maria to "dress up" for everyone. Anna was so sweet to send Maria some super fun headpeices to dress up her outfits.

You can get any of her peices at her website... http://www.etsy.com/shop/inhonorof

She has tons and tons of cute stuff! OR follow her blog... http://www.inhonorofdesign.blogspot.com/

WHICH ONE DO YOU THINK SHE LOVES THE BEST?

Pretty bird!

Great in Green!

Purple people eater!

Pretty in Pink

LUSCIOUS!

Gray = Football

2010-09-25T20:45:00.005-04:00

If there is one thing that the gray's are known for besides being too loud, dramatic, reproductive etc... it's FOOTBALL BABY!

We were raised on the football field. While dad coached foootball, us kids spent many weekends hearing him coach his teams. He took quite the sabatical but we are all so proud to see him back on the field coaching again. It's where he belongs and where us kids are so proud to find him.

There he is... "hot calves" - mom

"oh please, Mom!" - me

This weekend Maria and I were excited to put on our spirit wear and cheer on Grandaddy coaching and also watch "Uncle Babe" play one of the most exciting games of football we have seen him play this year. Not to Brag... but HE IS GOOD! I mean real good! :)

A quick prep talk before the game

Maria gets PSYCHED!

We're Ready! Go COLONELS!

My view of Maria during the game - Soo sweet

Half Time - "This doesn't look good, we're losing, I'm worried" maria

Mom called Dad on the field to tell him what play they should run...

Dad actually answered!

Gabe soon ran it in for a touch down for a great comeback!

Great game GABE! We are all so proud!

Uncle Babe holding his #1 Fan!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sweet face I just had to post.

2010-09-09T10:29:00.012-04:00

Good Morning All!

It has been such an amazing 3 weeks with Little Maria. I can't tell you how much I have enjoyed being with her and loving every little moment from wimpers to all out whaling; from smiles to giggling. She is such a tremendous joy.

Here's an inside look to the past three weeks. As you can see, Maria is very animated.

Visit with her namesake! Sr. Maria Fidelis (aunt)

Sister made her a baptismal gown, ISN'T IT LOVELY!

Thank you, Sister!

this took months and months of work, love and prayer!

The sister's at the convent play a mean game of cornhole!

Auntie Mia and the babe! :)

MY MARIA! HOW YOU HAVE GROWN!

We love bath time

Mama, having fun with the camera.

Big Bow. :)

And for your pure enjoyment...

Beautiful Maria!

2010-08-24T20:56:00.011-04:00

It's hard to believe that one week ago, I finally got to hold Maria in my hands! Here is the story...

Mama and Papa matching bracelets! :)

Tuesday at 8:30 in the morning, Chris and I drove into the hospital in our little van, ready and very anxious to receive Maria into our arms. At 39 weeks pregnant, I prayed and prayed that Maria would come naturally on her own. I desperately sought to have the birth experience that many women get to have. This is a topic all in it's own. However, I did put this in God's hands that if Maria didn't come by her due date we would go with the repeat ceserean. After an ultrasound that said she weighed approximately 8 lbs and 15 ozs we new that the weight of her on my scar would be much to dangerous to attempt a natural birth. So off to the operating room.

We checked in, got in the hospital gown, received an iv, answered a bunch of questions, watched a mother get rolled back into the delivery room and then return with a little baby in her hands and then we watched the clock awaiting our turn - tick tock tick tock....

Finally I was rolled back to the delivery room alone. I kissed Chris goodbye for a temporary moment as he got dressed in his scrubs and as they finished prepping me in the O.R. with an epidural and probably a million other things... However my focus was on looking out the window and saying as many "Hail Mary's" as I could. I prayed for our Doctor's, the nurses, myself and of course that Maria would come in perfect health.

Eventually after a few seemingly long minutes Chris joined my by my side as we were ready to see baby Maria. All our confidence was in Dr. Coppage that the delivery would go smooth. Of course with Dr. Coppage as our doctor we were completely reassured!

I held a rosary in my hand continued to pray my "Hail Mary's". I thought about Hope and Grace being their with Chris and I and how they must be watching all of this from heaven. I was scared - scared of the immensity of the moment. I was eagerly awaiting for someone to say "look". And then, they told Chris to stand up! "She's Here!" After Chris caught a quick picture, I just looked at his reaction and it was "WoW!" He was speechless. Then they put her up to the blue sheet so I could see her ... "LOVE" I was melted.

They took her over to get quickly cleaned up, and weighed. I heard gasps. "Luci, guess how much she weighs". I thought maybe 9lbs... "9lbs 7ozs" My immediate thought, "WHOA!"

They finally put Maria in my arms, and now I was the one rolling down the halls with my baby. "My baby. My baby" ((TEARS)) I just get to hold my baby. I held her in the same embrace that I held Hope and Grace. I LONGED for this moment. This precious life on my chest ready to kiss her forehead and cheeks. This moment was just as real and special as it was with my girls. "Thank you, Jesus!"

From that moment on, it was all a blur. It was Me, Chris and our little Maria. I couldn't stop looking at her, smelling her sweet baby smell, kissing the softest cheeks and that nook between her neck and her shoulders. UGH... love that nook!

I was amazed at her features. Her hair - so black. Her nostrils - seemed flared :) lol. Her sweet mouth, reminded me so much of Hope and Grace... same chins. Her LONG hands and feet. I couldn't believe how big they were! I noticed her breath on chest and how sweet it flowed in and out of her. And when she opened her eyes, we saw each other for the first time. Again it reminded me of how Grace opened her eyes wide at me, and we met - Mother and daughter.

I recall a small moment, holding Maria and looking at my husband and just thanking him. He probably didn't realized just how much I really meant it, but it was from so deep in my heart that I thanked him for being such a wonderful husband and an amazing father willing to always heed to God's will for the children that He brings into our lives. If he doesn't know by now, I am so in love with him. I am so in love that he loves all his girls - Hope, Grace and Maria.

Our families, shortly joined us and we shared in our joy. Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles joined in the celebration that day to love this beautiful Maria. I especially am grateful for Melanie for being at the hospital for over 8 hours to capture this moment with her camera as she did for Hope and Grace. With her pictures we are able to share with family friends who aren't able to be at those first moments of life, but are able to live them with us through her amazing photographs. (Thanks MeL! WE LoVe YoU!)

And sooo here I am with Maria in arm a week later. I am a hot mess in love with this baby girl. I stressed the first few days about everything. I stressed the most about nursing... What a process of PATIENCE... but eventually with lots of love and support from my family and friends, we are nursing great. She is what I like to call "milk drunk" every few hours. And my favorite new thing is what I call giving her my milk shakes... lol... It's when Chris is making me laugh so hard while i am nursing, and I can't stop laughing she shakes in my arms. Those are her milk shakes. They are often uncontrollable, but hysterical when it happens. Small moments like these I treasure.

We spend all our days in complete AWE of this miracle. And I am so happy to share her with you! FINALLY!

Her First Smile in Papa's arms -
How it should be.

maria is here!!

2010-08-18T22:56:00.003-04:00

luci and chris are still in the hospital, so in the meantime, she asked me to update her blog bc if y'all are anything like me...you're checking this every hour for a post! :) this is melanie, by the way! you know me, i'm the klare family photog, HA! no joke, we discussed this in pre op, i've been there for all major events, and plan on being at the rest :) so here's a teaser from my blog about maria. isn't lucia gorgeous?! yes. yes, she is.

if you want to see that beauty's face then head over to my blog and see the rest. i'm sure luci will blog all about maria's birth story when she gets a chance. for now, she's kissing every inch of that squishy little body! they are all doing great and L O V I N G life. GOD IS GOOD.
heart, melanie
http://www.loft3pd.com/blog/

Baby Lov!

2010-07-26T12:54:00.006-04:00

Nothing new with me except I am huge and huger... I am anxious and anxiouser (not a word)... I have 3 weeks left and eager to see my sweet pea. She is doing great, moving around in there a lot!

Though I haven't had Maria... someone has had their baby! Jacque had her precious little BOY on Thursday early evening. He is such a cutie, and really favoring Michael. Which is good, because he is Michael Christian #2! But they are calling him Christian. Both Christian and Jacque are doing really great and I am so excited to hold him!

AND... My favorite picture... Life is going to be wild from here on out Trailovs! =)

Nashville and The Fourth of July!

2010-07-09T08:59:00.024-04:00

Here's a quick catch up on the past two weeks.

Nashville

My whole family went to Nashville to celebrate in the Jubilee of the St. Cecilia Convent 150 year anniversary!
I snapped a picture with Sr. Maria Fidelis at the orchestra night before we had to run out of the HUGE tent before the storms got to us. (long story)
Some Pics of my neices... I could eat each one up!

And a look at me and Jacq ... growing. She is due in only 2 weeks. And I have 5 weeks!! woop woop

ALSO.... Exciting news from my family. Someone else is having a baby!!!!
Gina, married to Mike, Mom to Luke, Noah and Ava, is having another baby!!! We will welcome Little Abell in February!! woo hoo!!!
___________________________________________________
Fourth of July

A day we honor our countrymen!

It's become family tradition with the Klare's to party hard on the fourth of July! Off to the parade early in the morning
Hey Grandma, Lauren and Uncle Kevin!Papaw and Ole Man Klare. heeheee ;)
Some of my favorites from the parade

Only in Kentucky...
We could be sisters :)

A huge highlight to our Fourth of July is we were visited by three of our most favorite people in the world. Don, Chris' long time friend is serving our country and will soon be shipped off to Afghanistan for a year. He is married to the most wonderfuly lady and mom. They have a son Henry (Chris' Godson) and expecting their second in January. We are so blessed and fortunate to have men like Don serve our country and have the outlook on life the way he does. He is such a dear friend and a true hero in all our hearts! Please keep this family and especially Don in your prayers as he leaves this month for duty. God Bless you Don and Thank you!
You are certainly not only your son's hero but ours too!

GRAY SHOWER!

2010-07-01T09:12:00.000-04:00

Gray Women at a glance. How we usually are. :) lol... pretty much sums us up! It was too funny not to post. Sorry girlies.
And when the camera is flashing, we guickly pull it together! CHEEZ!
It's hard to imagine my life without all of these beautiful "Gray" women. I am so blessed to have my sisters and Mom who are always so willing to offer their love and support to me.
In May they threw for me my very first baby shower. It was such an emotional day from the beginning.
Thank you to my sisters, my mom and a special thanks to Janet Bagby - Jess' mother-in-law - who threw the shower I will never forget!
The theme of the shower was flowers, elephants with a spanish senorita flare! lol. There is only 1 person who can bring these things together in centerpeices, food, diaper cakes and decor... Mrs. Janet Bagby! Our Elephant CakeThe table centerpeices!
Gift opening... Everyone was so generous with their gifts... I am so grateful to have my friends and family to come to my shower and share in the joy of expecting our little Maria! FYI, if you are wondering where the pictures are of all my cousins, aunts, and friends I don't have any! lol... I was too busy talking instead of snapping! UGH! LOL.
Yummy Cake!
ME and Hubby, anxiously awaiting.

And when we got home, we started setting up her room. Please take a gander at her little sanctuary.

And we wait, to put her in this room and watch her sleep. I wait to rock her in her rocking chair, sing her a lullaby and tell the story of the love that started with her Papa and I, that trickled down to make her sisters, and has now been shared with her - our little Maria. I can't imagine how much more I can love this little girl, than I already do, but I am sure it will grow beyond my imagination when I see her.

Happy Birthday Hope and Grace!

2010-06-23T21:57:00.004-04:00

Hello my little Darlings,

I love you. I pray you have had a wonderful birthday in Heaven. I have thought about you all morning, since the moment I woke up. I have relived the moment when I first saw you in the delivery room; when Grace you opened your big eyes to stare at me for the first time, and when Hope I finally got to kiss you. I have relived the moments of feeling you both lie on my chest and my kisses imprinted on your faces and my gaze fixated on your every tiny feature. I cherish these moments everyday, and especially today.

I prayed to Jesus today, and thanked him for the way that he made you both. You are so perfect. Intricately connected forever. Your love was so strong, your mission on earth so great, that nothing could separate. I see how perfect God's creation is. I see how extra thought, love and care went into making you two. I see how I am supposed to love!

I am forever in debt to you, my beautiful daughters, for bringing your love into my life. Remember all those who love you and celebrated your life today. As they celebrate you as a gift. A gift to all of us given by God as an example of purity, joy, love, and fidelity. Your Papa and I are so blessed to call you ours!

I love you.
Mama

____________________________________________

To my little angels,

Happy 1st birthday! One year ago today at 6:01 pm you made me the proudest and happiest Papa ever! I t was on June 23, 2009 when I finally received the answers to my prayers. I got to see you face-to-face, labored breath to labored breath. However, none-the-less I got to meet my beautiful daughters. It was both of you who showed me the beauty of life, the heavenly sacrifices and the gratitude of all that god has blessed me with. I thank you both for giving me the honor of loving you, reading to you, holding you until you left for a higher journey, and for allowing me to be your Papa.

You girls, mean more to me than words can ever describe. So much that I have reserved a place in my heart especially for you. A place that can never be filled and a constant reminder of what I must fulfull to someday be given an eternal opportunity to meet you face-to-face and hold you again.
I love you two tremendously. I miss you whole heartedly. And I long for our reunion. Not a day passes that i don't think about you and what you two may be doing. I often wonder what you look like, what you love to do, and what your favorite past-times are. I can't wait until the day when we will meet again, when God deems my time to join you two - when I can build you a jungle-jim, take you for long walks, watch you grow and we will forever be united! In the mean time, I hope that today you have had a great day. A day that was blessed with as much as you and your brave journey has blessed the many lives that you two have touched. A day that was embraced with love, celebration and fun. And I hope that today you received all that you deserved.

Happy Birthday Hope and Grace! I love you! I miss you! And I am extremely proud of You!

Love,

Your Papa

_______________________________________________

Captured moments of today:

Nana, Grandaddy,Grandma Lulu, Uncle T, Uncle David, Auntie Mia and Sam all came by to visit for dinner, cake and ice cream. After dinner we let go 12 pink balloons to heaven. Each balloon carries a gift of love we wish you to have this day. I hope you are having fun with the balloons!

Happy Birthday!

(Special THANK YOU to everyone who sent a card, called and emailed us today. I may have not talked to you all, but Chris and I thank you dearly!)

Happy Father's Day

2010-06-21T11:30:00.005-04:00

Today is very specially made for father's like you, who truly set an example for what it means to a be father.

Since the moment you became Papa to our daughter's Hope and Grace you have given your heart unconditionally. You attended every doctor's visit, you remember every detail of life in my womb and out of it. You welcomed the life of your daughter's into your arms when they were born and baptized them In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. You gave God the ultimate sacrifice-as a father- of your two daughters and held their precious life in your hands until they took their last breath in your embrace. You carry the burden of seeing your children pass in your arms, to God the Father, and long to feel them in your arms again. I am eternally grateful to you for this example of love.

And now as we expect Maria, again you attend every doctor's visit and keep track of how she is doing on a daily bases. You talk to her and kiss her through my belly daily to be sure she knows you are ready to see her.

I know that your heart longs for Heaven, but be patient, my love. Your Fatherhood keeps you here with Maria and I to fulfill what God has asked of you. You have many swingsets to build, toys to fix and scraped knees to kiss. But soon you and I will be old and gray, and we will look at all we have with all our children, and be so proud of what God has allowed our love to make on this earth; and then, we will be ready for Heaven. I love you. You are my St. Joseph through and through! Happy Father's Day.

Shower at Grandma lulu's

2010-06-18T11:56:00.013-04:00

Grandma Lulu worked her TAIL OFF in the months, weeks and days prior to my shower this past weekend! And if you know Linda aka now as Grandma lulu, you know that she is a force to be reckoned with, when she means business! Lol!!!! She worked so hard everyday to be sure that I had a beautiful shower to honor Maria's arrival and my goodness was it ever!
A diaper cake for Maria! Thanks Lauren, Uncle Kevin and Grandma lulu for putting it together! so cute!Hi there a few of my favorite people...

Even Maria's friends showed up waiting in the wings for her arrival... Thanks for coming Nori Jo!

Patty and Sheila always ready to celebrate!

I forgot to take a picture of the food... probably because I stuffed my face. :)

Wow... all these gifts for little Maria! Thank you!
This picture captured my thoughts exactly....lol, overwhelmed? Everyone was so generous... I was truly taken back!

Top it off with a YUMMY strawberry cake! delectible!

And of course, the day wouldn't have been made perfect, if it weren't for Grandma lulu and all her love! Thanks Grandma! We love you so much!

Thank you also, to all my favorite people who showed up all family and friends of the Klare's... I am so blessed to be married into a family, whom I feel so loved and supported (gulp). I can't tell you how much it means to have all of you there to celebrate our family and help us get started in finally getting to bring home one of our babies! I love you, each one, so much.

31 Weeks

2010-06-16T09:48:00.012-04:00

Hello 31 Weeks.

As you can see the tummy grows - Maria grows. I am beginning to feel the slow down of the "third trimester". I am easily tired lately which also means I am easily emotional and hormonal. I seem to be fixated on how to have Maria at the exact right time... not too soon, not too late. I am fearful of having to have another c-section if I go past my due date!! I have this immense need to feel Maria being born... It's really hard to explain if you have never had a c-section before. But basically, pain makes it reality for me.
However, at the end of the day I leave this in God's hands. He is in charge of both of us, and our lives are in His hands to do as he pleases.

"Maria, you and I have reached 31 weeks of our journey! Yay, us! I feel you wake me up every morning with your "kung pao" kicks and love to have that time with you to snuggle in bed a little longer. As you grow, mommy's tummy grows more and more. Everybody has noticed it too! But I don't mind, because it means you are very healthy and getting closer to the day we see each other.

It was 31 weeks I delivered your sisters, so I am imagining how big your feet could be, what your little bum looks like (for me to pinch, of course), and how beautiful your big eyes are. Hope and Gracie were so beautiful at this time last year, and I know you are just as gorgeous. However,I ask that you hang in there a little bit longer until you feel perfectly ready. Which also means after 36 weeks and before 40! ;)

I love you so much precious daughter. And can't wait to have you in my arms! See you soon my love!"

___________________________

I have had my two showers recently, and will soon update on how fun both were! Just got to get some of my life in order... those will be longer posts probably. lots of pics and goodies to share.

30 Weeks

2010-06-11T08:28:00.003-04:00

It has been so long since I have posted. I have been in a frenzy of busy. But I noticed a blog the other day that did a great job of logging the journey to 40 weeks.
It really started to get me thinking how important it is to keep track of the thoughts and feelings during this time, so one day I can wrap them in a book for her and she can read how much I long to see her.

Last night I had the most incredible dream. I believe that dreams are quite the reflection of the subconcious trying to get out. But also I understand that while pregnant, dreams are much more intense. I digress... Back to the dream.

Maria, I dreamt that I gave birth to you last night. It was a beautiful birth. I dreamt that it was just you and I. I felt no pain, I felt only this longing to hold you in my arms and love you. When I saw your face it reminded me of the first time I saw your sisters. It was again, a heavenly face. You are so beautiful! You look so much like your papa. Your cheeks are smooth and your eyes wide with glory. Your hair is soft and whispy like an angel. I squeeze you with joy and so much love - how I have longed to hold my baby.
In my dream, I ran you to your papa and he was so surprised that I had already had you in my arms. He could hardly contain his joy to hold you. The look on his face, made me so proud. That such a tiny little creature could create such a stir in his heart. We are elated with your presence and thank the Lord for you.

And now, that I reach each milestone in this pregnancy I long for her more and more. I can't wait to place her on my chest and in my arms and to gaze in wonder how I could be so blessed!

Mother's Day

2010-05-10T08:38:00.004-04:00

It's hard to explain what it means to me to be a mother of two daughters in heaven and one on the way. My heart constantly longs to hold my two in heaven and I would leave this world without hesitation if they asked our Lord to bring me to them. Yet, I have little Maria who reminds me daily of how important it is to continue on to be a mother to her as she prepares to enter in this world. I am in love with all three and feel torn literally between two worlds. Chris often reminds me that it will always be this way for us as we will always long for Heaven to be with Hope and Grace, and when we get there, we will long for all of our other children to make it there with us.
And so, I am swelled with the love for my children. I know that Chris and I are truly blessed to have begun our family with two little saints that watch over all of us. I am joyful and patient for the arrival of little Maria and being given a gift so precious of a third baby. I thank Jesus for my health and for the immense gift of being able to have a children and longing desire for Heaven.

I received a very special gift from all three of my daughters at mass. I have talked before about how music is so important for the soul, and how it touches me deeply. When I was pregnant with the girls (#1 and #2) I would sing "You are Mine" to them almost every morning on my way to work. And with little Maria, I have made her song "Ave Maria" in honor of Our Lady and the importance of staying close to her. So Yesterday after receiving communion, both songs played. I received Our Lord in Communion and then received my girls in song. It touched me so deeply that I couldn't hold back the tears.
Below is the song of "You are mine" and if you can imagine sing this to your children who are on their way to heaven, and then them singing it to you as they await for your arrival .... It really speaks wonders of my relationship with Hope and Grace.

I will come to you in the silence
I will lift you from all your fear
You will hear My voice
I claim you as My choice
Be still, and know I am near

I am hope for all who are hopeless
I am eyes for all who long to see
In the shadows of the night,
I will be your light
Come and rest in Me

Chorus:
Do not be afraid, I am with you
I have called you each by name
Come and follow Me
I will bring you home
I love you and you are mine

I am strength for all the despairing
Healing for the ones who dwell in shame
All the blind will see, the lame will all run free
And all will know My name

Chorus:
Do not be afraid, I am with you
I have called you each by name
Come and follow Me
I will bring you home
I love you and you are mine

I am the Word that leads all to freedom
I am the peace the world cannot give
I will call your name, embracing all your pain
Stand up, now, walk, and live

After Mass, Chris and I cooked for his Mom and Grandma for Mother's Day. I am SO blessed to have as mother-in-law, who I love so dearly. I can't say enough of how fun and truly joyful Linda is all of the time (except if she is cleaning before a party, stay clear... ;) But she is always the first to give of herself and be there for anyone. I am so excited God chose her to be Grandma to my girls!! I see her sewing lots of dresses, baking lots of cakes and giving lots of hugs to her little grandbaby Maria!
"Boots" Great-Grandma Piper, Grandma Klare ;) lol. (Linda), Luci

And to my Mom, who was with my Grandmother for Mother's Day. I love you. Is there really more to say? You are who I try to exemplify as a mother as you have exemplified all our lives the Mother Mary. You and I have a special gift of mother and daughter that I only pray my girls can feel about me, the way I feel about you. Thank you for saying "yes", 26 years ago when you thought it impossible to have a sixth child. I love you.

Finally, I want to pray for all the mothers who have conceived and lost their children. I pray for the ones who are waiting to bear a child or adopt. Their pain is immense and it is real, for God has given them the great blessing of desiring motherhood. I especially pray for my sister-in-law Angie, who with God and the love of my brother has created two eternal souls that run around in Heaven, and still long to fill their house with a baby. And as she reminded me last night, life starts from CONCEPTION, no matter how tiny the soul has already been created and will be eternal in the Father's eyes. Mother's who find complications in conceiving, carrying to term or in sudden loss have a long strenous journey. Please pray for their strength and fortitude.

And I leave you saying this... Happy Mother's Day.

Clouds

2010-05-04T08:53:00.005-04:00

I have small obsessions with things in life, that I find are just so beautiful and give me peace. Things such as a cup of coffee in the morning, hearing the flow of water, seeing elephants, The sun beaming through the leaves in the trees and clouds. Elephants, might be the weird one in that bunch, but I do love them. However, yesterday on my way home from work I saw this beautiful cloud. When I see things of such beauty they just take me to another place where I can leave the stress of my job, the play list of errands running through my head, the commotion of the radio and cell phone behind. I am whisked away on top of this cloud imagining my girls are with me bouncing upon the cloud enjoying all the wonders of the world below.

It is important to reflect on nature and what God has given us in it. It is a small oasis for us to retreat from the hubbub of life. There, in his creation, I believe we get a glimpse of what heaven will be like, full of awe and serenity. I believe that my girls are running in the streams, bouncing off clouds, and climbing the heavenly trees or teaching those who have passed from this world how to climb over the pearly gates. I can't imagine anything else but the joy they must have inside to be in God's presence, reaping the rewards of His love for them.

I encourage everyone, especially myself to turn off the TV, the radio, the cell phone, and the Internet and to listen to God's voice to us in being one with nature. Guard your senses, from being complacent and invoke a life of giving with joy.

Chris and I were married on the Feast of St. Francis. A saint who is well known for his love for animals and nature. If it is difficult to pray and converse with Our Lord, use the prayer of those who have gone before us, that teach us how to pray.
Lord make me an instrument of your peace,
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light'
where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master grant that I may not so much see to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

.....all that from a cloud. :)

All my girls...

2010-04-23T08:49:00.006-04:00

10 Months ago, we saw your sweet faces and fell in love with you. It seems like just yesterday, that I was carrying you around and dreaming of what it would be like to hold you. And now that I have held you and given you back to the Father, I still feel the weighted imprint you left upon my chest - a gift I am blessed to have. And now as we are closely approaching only 3 months until we see your little sister, I pray that I may be given that same feeling of overwhelming love that I had at the moment of your birth.

Words cannot express how much I miss you. And how I struggle to remain joyous that you are in heaven and not here with your Papa and I. We talk about you daily, and wonder what you two are up to. I hope that you are fulfilling a great peice of God's plan to continue to help all those whose lives you touched here on earth. Remember especially your little sister, Maria. Surround her with the love and strength from Our Lord, and let her always know you are near. Remember too all those who have lost a loved one, whose heart aches to hold them again. Give them peace and consolation as they have to continue their daily life.

I Love you my little darlings. I love each one of you. Hope I love your loyal and courageous soul, Grace I love your humble and contemplative soul, and little Maria I love your happy and joyous soul. And though your Papa would argue that he loves you three more than I, know we both love you so much.

What a sweet gift from my dear friend Emily, for little Maria. Thank you so much Emily - WE MISS YOU!

Lilly Violet and Nori Jo

2010-04-14T08:31:00.006-04:00

Yesterday I went to visit an old friend who just had her first baby. Sarah is the proud mamma to a little girl, Lilly Violet.
Visiting with little Lilly was such a JOY, as I was able to feed her, burp her, and play with her sweet toes. Lilly was born 5 weeks EARLY! She had a rough start, being in the NICU for a little while, but now that she is home, Sarah is swaddling her in so much love! I am amazed by Sarah's strength, having to had her baby in the NICU for a couple weeks, and by her joy of getting to be a mom! What a blessing to watch a mother and daughter together!
After a little while, we were visited by Melanie and her baby Nori Jo! Nori Jo, is another little squishy baby that came into this world in December, and boy has she grown. Melanie, has been an exceptional mom always ready to give Nori a chance to see the world in so many colors... AND that's the truth. You should see Nori's nursery, it's unbelievable colorful! lol. But Nori is such a cutie pie with her sweet edible cheeks and her big blue eyes!
When holding Lilly and Nori, I could feel little Maria kicking her way out - almost. She was very much awake when the girls were on my lap and ready to play with them. I think Maria has made her two first friends and ready to have tea parties and mud pies! :)
How blessed I feel each time I hold a baby in my arms! And yesterday when I had two at one time, I couldn't help but to remember the beauty it felt to have Hope and Grace in my arms a little more than 9 months ago.
Thank you Sarah, and Melanie for letting me hold your babies and love on them until Maria gets here. It allows me to feel connected to my three daughters in a way you may never understand. However know that it completely fills my heart with so much love! I love you both!

Pittsburgh Extravaganza!

2010-04-12T11:04:00.009-04:00

MEET COLLEEN Colleen, is one of my oldest and dearest friends from high school. We have so many memories together from boarding school that I will never forget. She was always the one who hated the attention, while I basked in it. She was always the first to crack a joke and cut the tension. Most importantly, she has always been the most beautiful soul! This weekend she married Michael Gornick. The wedding was so full of reverance for the sacrament of marriage, fun and laughter! It was literally the most beautiful and fun wedding I have ever attended. It was like a big high school reunion with all my girls that I love from school. Here are few pics and moments I will never forget! Above: Kate, Megan, Maria, Anna, Emily, Luci, Anne Marie, and Monica! (it was windy) Megan and Monica, looking stunning for the wedding! Colleen and Michael right after their vows! (tears) The STUNNING bride and groom r><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Go0r0Mz7nic/S8M7WIuEC1I/AAAAAAAAAXg/i2f601WUsfg/s1600/Colleen+Wedding+025.jpg"> Emily and Colleen - I heart this picture! Aint no party like an EX - PC party!!! Lol. woop woop! <a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Go0r0Mz7nic/S8M77EXd8KI/AAAAAAAAAX4/4FMJHMkCa24/s1600/Colleen+Wedding+030.jpg"> Emily danced more than anyone there!!! And also cried everytime she saw Colleen!!! She was so fun! Megan singing to the music... lol!!! (And Thanks for freezing my underwear in high school!!!!) There are no words for Maria!!! She played her air guitar and danced up a storm! And of course our bride!!! DANCING QUEEN!
Thank you girls for so much fun and laughter!! Thank you Colleen, for allowing Chris and I to be apart of your special day. We had so much fun and will never forget it. We love you all so much!

Happy Easter.... Hop and Gas!

2010-04-05T08:00:00.014-04:00

Happy Easter!!

This easter was especially beautiful. It will always be an Easter I never forget. My cousin Ashlee is now Catholic!!! I am so blessed to have been able to witness this journey she started last year. She began her journey into the Catholic faith shortly after finding out we were having Hope and Grace. And now this weekend after many months of learning and discerning if this was what God was calling her to, she entered into the Catholic Family on Easter Vigil!
Mom, Dad, Luci, Ashlee, and Aunt Dru

A gift from Mom and Dad - Ashlee's Godparents.

Many of Ashlee's family on the Wiley came to show their support, it was a very family filled event!!!

My husband's parents even showed their support! Hey Linda! Hey Jerry! :)

Easter Sunday was all about family again. Chris and I went to brunch with his family and enjoyed lots of yummy casseroles! And then headed over to the Gray Headquarters for easter egg hunts and MORE FOOD!
T, manned the grill. Sorry tilt your head! :)

Abell's got ready for the hunt!

Luke took the "stuff in your pocket and RUN" approach.

MAD DASH!!!

Look deeper!! muuuhhhaaahahaaaahaaa!

The Easter egg hunt was a success! And soo much fun!

Even Uncle David had fun... :)

PS...

At the end of Easter Day, my Godbaby Ava, gave me such a special gift. In her kindergarten class she had to draw a picture of what she thought about Jesus. And she said that she thinks of Jesus she prays for Uncle Chris, Auntie Lulu, Hope and Grace all the time. And she loves her cousins very much! She gave me the picture that she drew of her Hope and Grace in heaven... AND I LOVED IT!!!
It's the thought that counts the most!

eeerrrrrkkkkk... HOP AND GAS???? LOL!!!!! Sweet Ava is still learning how to spell Hope and Grace! :) Thanks Ava! I love it!

Little Maria

2010-04-01T08:07:00.007-04:00

Yesterday was a momentous day for our little Klare Family as we reached 20 weeks! We are half way there to meeting our new baby GIRL. Yes, it's official! We will be having a little Girl. So bring on the PINK, THE SPANISH DRESSES, AND THE SWEET KISSES!!

We have chosen Maria Fidelis Klare to be her name. We wanted to name her after my sister who is in the order of Dominican Sisters. Her name is Sister Maria Fidelis. The name translated means, Mary (Most) Faithful. Sister Maria Fidelis and I have shared much of the same journey's of faith together. But it seems the Lord chose her heart to be just His. But I honor not only the her faithfullness to Our Lord, but also Our Mother Mary and name our baby girl Maria.
Chris and I are overwhelmed with joy by how much little Maria has grown in these past twenty weeks. She is very healthy and seems ready for life full of joy and excitement, as she lets me know she is doing well with her daily kicks. I can't wait to see her face, and kiss her sweet cheeks as I did with her sisters - a million times!
Hope and Grace made their presence very much known yesterday as I felt so close to them all day. I felt wrapped in their love, and could feel their joy that they too are expecting a little sister.
So please keep us all in your prayers as we anxiously await the arrival of little Maria.

Feast of St. Joseph

2010-03-19T08:47:00.002-04:00

Ninth Day
PATRON OF A HAPPY DEATH

Saint Joseph, how fitting it was that at the hour of your death Jesus should stand at your bedside with Mary, the sweetness and hope of all mankind. You gave your entire life to the service of Jesus and Mary; at death you enjoyed the consolation of dying in Their loving arms. You accepted death in the spirit of loving submission to the Will of God, and this acceptance crowned your hidden life of virtue. Yours was a merciful judgment, for your foster-Son, for whom you had cared so lovingly, was your Judge, and Mary was your advocate. The verdict of the Judge was a word of encouragement to wait for His coming to Limbo, where He would shower you with the choicest fruits of the Redemption, and an embrace of grateful affection before you breathed forth your soul into eternity.

You looked into eternity and to your everlasting reward with confidence. If our Savior blessed the shepherds, the Magi, Simeon, John the Baptist, and others, because they greeted His presence with devoted hearts for a brief passing hour, how much more did He bless you who have sanctified yourself for so many years in His company and that of His Mother? If Jesus regards every corporal and spiritual work of mercy, performed in behalf of our fellow men out of love for Him, as done to Himself, and promises heaven as a reward, what must have been the extent of His gratitude to you who in the truest sense of the word have received Him, given Him shelter, clothed, nourished, and consoled Him at the sacrifice of your strength and rest, and even your life, with a love which surpassed the love of all fathers.

God really and personally made Himself your debtor. Our Divine Savior paid that debt of gratitude by granting you many graces in your lifetime, especially the grace of growing in love, which is the best and most perfect of all gifts. Thus at the end of your life your heart became filled with love, the fervor and longing of which your frail body could not resist. Your soul followed the triumphant impulse of your love and winged its flight from earth to bear the prophets and patriarchs in Limbo the glad tidings of the advent of the Redeemer.

Saint Joseph, I thank God for your privilege of being able to die in the arms of Jesus and Mary. As a token of your own gratitude to God, obtain for me the grace of a happy death. Help me to spend each day in preparation for death. May I, too, accept death in the spirit of resignation to God's Holy Will, and die, as you did, in the arms of Jesus, strengthened by Holy Viaticum, and in the arms of Mary, with her rosary in my hand and her name on my lips!

*NOVENA PRAYER

DAy 7 of St. Joseph Novena

2010-03-17T08:37:00.002-04:00

Seventh Day
PATRON OF WORKERS

Saint Joseph, you devoted your time at Nazareth to the work of a carpenter. It was the Will of God that you and your foster-Son should spend your days together in manual labor. What a beautiful example you set for the working classes!

It was especially for the poor, who compose the greater part of mankind, that Jesus came upon earth, for in the synagogue of Nazareth, He read the words of Isaiah and referred them to Himself: "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because He has anointed Me to bring good news to the poor..." (Luke 4:18). It was God's Will that you should be occupied with work common to poor people, that in this way Jesus Himself might ennoble it by inheriting it from you, His foster-father, and by freely embracing it. Thus our Lord teaches us that for the humbler class of workmen, He has in store His richest graces, provided they live content in the place God's Providence has assigned them, and remain poor in spirit for He said, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" (Matt. 5:3).

The kind of work to which you devoted your time in the workshop of Nazareth offered you many occasions of practicing humility. You were privileged to see each day the example of humility which Jesus practiced -- a virtue most pleasing to Him. He chose for His earthly surroundings not the courts of princes nor the halls of the learned, but a little workshop of Nazareth. Here you shared for many years the humble and hidden toiling of the God-Man. What a touching example for the worker of today!

While your hands were occupied with manual work, your mind was turned to God in prayer. From the Divine Master, who worked along with you, you learned to work in the presence of God in the spirit of prayer, for as He worked He adored His Father and recommended the welfare of the world to Him, Jesus also instructed you in the wonderful truths of grace and virtue, for you were in close contact with Him who said of Himself, "I am the Way and the Truth and the Life."

As you were working at your trade, you were reminded of the greatness and majesty of God, who, as a most wise Architect, formed this vast universe with wonderful skill and limitless power.

The light of divine faith that filled your mind, did not grow dim when you saw Jesus working as a carpenter. You firmly believed that the saintly Youth working beside you was truly God's own Son.

Saint Joseph, I thank God for your privilege of being able to work side by side with Jesus in the carpenter shop of Nazareth. As a token of your own gratitude to God, obtain for me the grace to respect the dignity of labor and ever to be content with the position in life, however lowly, in which it may please Divine Providence to place me. Teach me to work for God and with God in the spirit of humility and prayer, as you did, so that I may offer my toil in union with the sacrifice of Jesus in the Mass as a reparation for my sins, and gain rich merit for heaven.

*NOVENA PRAYER

DAY 6 of St. Joseph Novena

2010-03-16T09:16:00.004-04:00

Sixth Day
PATRON OF FAMILIES
Someone who reminds me of St. Joseph more than anyone is my husband. In fact, you might often find me call him "Joseph"! He is a hard worker, loving, prayerful and a most faithful man to me and his children! Let us pray that ALL fathers emulate St. Joseph in how to treat their wives and love their children!

Saint Joseph, I venerate you as the gentle head of the Holy Family. The Holy Family was the scene of your life's work in its origin, in its guidance, in its protection, in your labor for Jesus and Mary, and even in your death in their arms. You lived, moved, and acted in the loving company of Jesus and Mary. The inspired writer describes your life at Nazareth in only a few words: "And (Jesus) went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was subject to them" (Luke, 2:51). Yet these words tell of your high vocation here on earth, and the abundance of graces which filled your soul during those years spent in Nazareth.

Your family life at Nazareth was all radiant with the light of divine charity. There was an intimate union of heart and mind among the members of your Holy Family. There could not have been a closer bond than that uniting you to Jesus, your foster-Son and to Mary, your most loving wife. Jesus chose to fulfill toward you, His foster-father, all the duties of a faithful son, showing you every mark of honor and affection due to a parent. And Mary showed you all the signs of respect and love of a devoted wife. You responded to this love and veneration from Jesus and Mary with feelings of deepest love and respect. You had for Jesus a true fatherly love, enkindled and kept aglow in your heart by the Holy Spirit. And you could not cease to admire the workings of grace in Mary's soul, and this admiration caused the holy love which you had consecrated to her on the day of your wedding grow stronger every day.

God has made you a heavenly patron of family life because you sanctified yourself as head of the Holy Family and thus by your beautiful example sanctified family life. How peacefully and happily the Holy Family rested under the care of your fatherly rule, even in the midst of trials. You were the protector, counselor, and consolation of the Holy Family in every need. And just as you were the model of piety, so you gave us by your zeal, your earnestness and devout trust in God's providence, and especially by your love, the example of labor according to the Will of God. You cherished all the experiences common to family life and the sacred memories of the life, sufferings, and joys in the company of Jesus and Mary. Therefore the family is dear to you as the work of God, and it is of the highest importance in your eyes to promote the honor of God and the well-being of man. In your loving fatherliness and unfailing intercession you are the patron and intercessor of families, and you deserve a place in every home.

Saint Joseph, I thank God for your privilege of living in the Holy Family and being its head. As a token of your own gratitude to God, obtain God's blessing upon my own family. Make our home the kingdom of Jesus and Mary -- a kingdom of peace, of joy, and love.

I also pray for all Christian families. Your help is needed in our day when God's enemy has directed his attack against the family in order to desecrate and destroy it. In the face of these evils, as patron of families, be pleased to help; and as of old, you arose to save the Child and His Mother, so today arise to protect the sanctity of the home. Make our homes sanctuaries of prayer, of love, of patient sacrifice, and of work. May they be modeled after your own at Nazareth. Remain with us with Jesus and Mary, so that by your help we may obey the commandments of God and of the Church; receive the holy sacraments of God and of the Church; live a life of prayer; and foster religious instruction in our homes. Grant that we may be reunited in God's Kingdom and eternally live in the company of the Holy Family in heaven.

*NOVENA PRAYER

Day 5 of St. Joseph Novena

2010-03-15T09:14:00.002-04:00

PATRON OF THE CHURCH

Saint Joseph, God has appointed you patron of the Catholic Church because you were the head of the Holy Family, the starting-point of the Church. You were the father, protector, guide and support of the Holy Family. For that reason you belong in a particular way to the Church, which was the purpose of the Holy Family's existence.

I believe that the Church is the family of God on earth. Its government is represented in priestly authority which consists above all in its power over the true Body of Christ, really present in the Blessed Sacrament of the Altar, thus continuing Christ's life in the Church. From this power, too, comes authority over the Mystical Body of Christ, the members of the Church -- the power to teach and govern souls, to reconcile them with God, to bless them, and to pray for them.

You have a special relationship to the priesthood because you possessed a wonderful power over our Savior Himself. Your life and office were of a priestly function and are especially connected with the Blessed Sacrament. To some extent you were the means of bringing the Redeemer to us -- as it is the priest's function to bring Him to us in the Mass -- for you reared Jesus, supported, nourished, protected and sheltered Him. You were prefigured by the patriarch Joseph, who kept supplies of wheat for his people. But how much greater than he were you! Joseph of old gave the Egyptians mere bread for their bodies. You nourished, and with the most tender care, preserved for the Church Him who is the Bread of Heaven and who gives eternal life in Holy Communion.

God has appointed you patron of the Church because the glorious title of patriarch also falls by special right to you. The patriarchs were the heads of families of the Chosen People, and theirs was the honor to prepare for the Savior's incarnation. You belonged to this line of patriarchs, for you were one of the last descendants of the family of David and one of the nearest forebears of Christ according to the flesh. As husband of Mary, the Mother of God, and as the foster-father of the Savior, you were directly connected with Christ. Your vocation was especially concerned with the Person of Jesus; your entire activity centered about Him. You are, therefore, the closing of the Old Testament and the beginning of the New, which took its rise with the Holy Family of Nazareth. Because the New Testament surpasses the Old in every respect, you are the patriarch of patriarchs, the most venerable, exalted, and amiable of all the patriarchs.

Through Mary, the Church received Christ, and therefore the Church is indebted to her. But the Church owes her debt of gratitude and veneration to you also, for you were the chosen one who enabled Christ to enter into the world according to the laws of order and fitness. It was by you that the patriarchs and the prophets and the faithful reaped the fruit of God's promise. Alone among them all, you saw with your own eyes and possessed the Redeemer promised to the rest of men.

Saint Joseph, I thank God for your privilege of being the Patron of the Church. As a token of your own gratitude to God, obtain for me the grace to live always as a worthy member of this Church, so that through it I may save my soul. Bless the priests, the religious, and the laity of the Catholic Church, that they may ever grow in God's love and faithfulness in His service. Protect the Church from the evils of our day and from the persecution of her enemies. Through your powerful intercession may the church successfully accomplish its mission in this world -- the glory of God and the salvation of souls!

DAY 2 of St. Joseph Novena

2010-03-12T09:19:00.003-05:00

Second Day
VIRGINAL HUSBAND OF MARY

Saint Joseph, I honor you as the true husband of Mary. Scripture says: "Jacob begot Joseph, the husband of Mary, and of her was born Jesus who is called Christ" (Matt. 1:16). Your marriage to Mary was a sacred contract by which you and Mary gave yourselves to each other. Mary really belonged to you with all she was and had. You had a right to her love and obedience; and no other person so won her esteem, obedience, and love.

You were also the protector and witness of Mary's virginity. By your marriage you gave to each other your virginity, and also the mutual right over it -- a right to safeguard the other's virtue. This mutual virginity also belonged to the divine plan of the Incarnation, for God sent His angel to assure you that motherhood and virginity in Mary could be united.

This union of marriage not only brought you into daily familiar association with Mary, the loveliest of God's creatures, but also enabled you to share with her a mutual exchange of spiritual goods. And Mary found her edification in your calm, humble, and deep virtue, purity, and sanctity. What a great honor comes to you from this close union with her whom the Son of God calls Mother and whom He declared the Queen of heaven and earth! Whatever Mary had belonged by right to you also, and this included her Son, even though He had been given to her by God in a wonderful way. Jesus belonged to you as His legal father. Your marriage was the way which God chose to have Jesus introduced into the world, a great divine mystery from which all benefits have come to us.

God the Son confided the guardianship and the support of His Immaculate Mother to your care. Mary's life was that of the Mother of the Savior, who did not come upon earth to enjoy honors and pleasures, but to redeem the world by hard work, suffering, and the cross. You were the faithful companion, support, and comforter of the Mother of Sorrows. How loyal you were to her in poverty, journeying, work, and pain. Your love for Mary was based upon your esteem for her as Mother of God. After God and the Divine Child, you loved no one as much as her. Mary responded to this love. She submitted to your guidance with naturalness and easy grace and childlike confidence. The Holy Spirit Himself was the bond of the great love which united your hearts.

Saint Joseph, I thank God for your privilege of being the virginal husband of Mary. As a token of your own gratitude to God, obtain for me the grace to love Jesus with all my heart, as you did, and love Mary with some of the tenderness and loyalty with which you loved her.

*NOVENA PRAYER

Power of Prayer

2010-03-11T08:52:00.003-05:00

Good morning. I wanted to share with anyone who reads this blog the Novena to St. Joseph. It is important that we remember to ask those who have gone before us, to pray with us to Jesus for intentions that are in our heart or for those we love. My sister asked me to join her in the Novena to St. Joseph today and I also invite everyone who reads this to join!

Novena to
St. Joseph

*NOVENA PRAYER
*(prayer to be said at the end of each day's devotion)

Saint Joseph, I, your unworthy child, greet you. You are the faithful protector and intercessor of all who love and venerate you. You know that I have special confidence in you and that, after Jesus and Mary, I place all my hope of salvation in you, for you are especially powerful with God and will never abandon your faithful servants. Therefore I humbly invoke you and commend myself, with all who are dear to me and all that belong to me, to your intercession. I beg of you, by your love for Jesus and Mary, not to abandon me during life and to assist me at the hour of my death.

Glorious Saint Joseph, spouse of the Immaculate Virgin, obtain for me a pure, humble, charitable mind, and perfect resignation to the divine Will. Be my guide, my father, and my model through life that I may merit to die as you did in the arms of Jesus and Mary.

Loving Saint Joseph, faithful follower of Jesus Christ, I raise my heart to you to implore your powerful intercession in obtaining from the Divine Heart of Jesus all the graces necessary for my spiritual and temporal welfare, particularly the grace of a happy death, and the special grace I now implore:

(Mention your request).

Guardian of the Word Incarnate, I feel confident that your prayers in my behalf will be graciously heard before the throne of God. Amen.

MEMORARE
Remember, most pure spouse of Mary, ever Virgin, my loving protector, Saint Joseph, that no one ever had recourse to your protection or asked for your aid without obtaining relief. Confiding, therefore, in your goodness, I come before you and humbly implore you. Despise not my petitions, foster-father of the Redeemer, but graciously receive them. Amen.

We know Joseph was a man of faith, obedient to whatever God asked of him without knowing the outcome. When the angel came to Joseph in a dream and told him the truth about the child Mary was carrying, Joseph immediately and without question or concern for gossip, took Mary as his wife. When the angel came again to tell him that his family was in danger, he immediately left everything he owned, all his family and friends, and fled to a strange country with his young wife and the baby. He waited in Egypt without question until the angel told him it was safe to go back.

Day One
FOSTER-FATHER OF JESUS

Saint Joseph, you were privileged to share in the mystery of the Incarnation as the foster-father of Jesus. Mary alone was directly connected with the fulfillment of the mystery, in that she gave her consent to Christ's conception and allowed the Holy Spirit to form the sacred humanity of Jesus from her blood. You had a part in this mystery in an indirect manner, by fulfilling the condition necessary for the Incarnation -- the protection of Mary's virginity before and during your married life with her. You made the virginal marriage possible, and this was a part of God's plan, foreseen, willed, and decreed from all eternity.

In a more direct manner you shared in the support, upbringing, and protection of the Divine Child as His foster-father. For this purpose the Heavenly Father gave you a genuine heart of a father -- a heart full of love and self-sacrifice. With the toil of your hands you were obliged to offer protection to the Divine Child, to procure for Him food, clothing, and a home. You were truly the saint of the holy childhood of Jesus -- the living created providence which watched over the Christ-Child.

When Herod sought the Child to put Him to death, the Heavenly Father sent an angel but only as a messenger, giving orders for the flight; the rest He left entirely in your hands. It was that fatherly love which was the only refuge that received and protected the Divine Child. Your fatherly love carried Him through the desert into Egypt until all enemies were removed. Then on your arms the Child returned to Nazareth to be nourished and provided for during many years by the labor of your hands. Whatever a human son owes to a human father for all the benefits of his up-bringing and support, Jesus owed to you, because you were to Him a foster-father, teacher, and protector.

You served the Divine Child with a singular love. God gave you a heart filled with heavenly, supernatural love -- a love far deeper and more powerful than any natural father's love could be.

You served the Divine Child with great unselfishness, without any regard to self-interest, but not without sacrifices. You did not toil for yourself, but you seemed to be an instrument intended for the benefit of others, to be put aside as soon as it had done its word, for you disappeared from the scene once the childhood of Jesus had passed.

You were the shadow of the Heavenly Father not only as the earthly representative of the authority of the Father, but also by means of your fatherhood -- which only appeared to be natural -- you were to hide for a while the divinity of Jesus. What a wonderfully sublime and divine vocation was yours -- the loving Child which you carried in your arms, and loved and served so faithfully, had God in Heaven as Father and was Himself God!

Yours is a very special rank among the saints of the Kingdom of God, because you were so much a part of the very life of the Word of God made Man. In your house at Nazareth and under your care the redemption of mankind was prepared. What you accomplished, you did for us. You are not only a powerful and great saint in the Kingdom of God, but a benefactor of the whole of Christendom and mankind. Your rank in the Kingdom of God, surpassing far in dignity and honor of all the angels, deserves our very special veneration, love, and gratitude.

Saint Joseph, I thank God for your privilege of having been chosen by God to be the foster-father of His Divine Son. As a token of your own gratitude to God for this your greatest privilege, obtain for me the grace of a very devoted love for Jesus Christ, my God and my Savior. Help me to serve Him with some of the self-sacrificing love and devotion which you had while on this earth with Him. Grant that through your intercession with Jesus, your foster-Son, I may reach the degree of holiness God has destined for me, and save my soul.

*NOVENA PRAYER

(I got this off of the ewtn website)

I HEART THE PACE FAMILIA!

2010-03-08T15:27:00.004-05:00

We spent Saturday, with our dear friends Melanie, Adam and baby Nori. As promised I changed Nori's diapy within five seconds flat :). We caught up on life and spent time chatting and awing over their little Nori! So SWEET!

Mel and Adam shot our wedding, and the birth of Hope and Grace, and here sweet enough to snap a few shots of our excitement about the new baby... Check out their blog... http://http://www.loft3pd.com/blog/

ps... i can't figure out how to do that nifty link thing... my computer doesn't let me... :)

"Leaning towards......"

2010-03-04T11:01:00.005-05:00

Yesterday was a big appointment day for Chris, myself and little baby Klare.

I went into work thinking about nothing but the ultrasound. I had built up all kinds of nervous anxiety and excitement. I prayed that no matter, the outcome, I would except the Lord's will for our family.

I could have cried all morning. I kept thinking about this new baby and how I would take the news, if he/she was healthy or not.

As we walked into the ultrasound, my nerves calmed down. I had an overwhelming sense of peace and felt comforted that no matter what I loved this life.

And there we saw "Baby Klare":

Baby Klare is wonderfully healthy from what we can tell so far. The measurements were normal, the heartbeat was around 140 - 150 and lots of movement!

One of our favorite positions that Chris and I loved was this one:

If you can't tell, that is the stomach, and then the legs crossed at the ankles! so cute!

And the BIG QUESTION - WHAT ARE WE HAVING???? A BOY or A GIRL.

Well I have bad news... We are not 100% on the sex just yet! lol... But from what I could tell and what the technician could tell we are....

"LEANING TOWARDS"......

We are so very excited to have the opportunity to have another baby come into our lives. We know that Hope and Grace are going to be such a big part of our growing family as we teach all our children to live life with every breath for Heaven. Thank you for all your prayers. We are doing our very best to enjoy every moment of this pregnancy and to take each moment in stride with the Lord's Love!

God Bless!!!!

LUCI and CHRIS

Remember that you are from ashes and to ashes you will return.

2010-02-23T11:44:00.004-05:00

I have entered into my second trimester of the pregnancy. I am 15 weeks today. It is amazing how quickly time is flying by. I find myself doing daily comparisons of this pregnancy compared to being pregnant with little Hopie and Gracie. For all the obvious reasons... Last year at this exact same time, Chris and I found out we were having conjoined twins. That was a pain like no other. And this pregnancy I am waiting, waiting, waiting to find out if this child is healthy and what the sex is. Everything about this pregnancy is going along as wished for. When I was pregnant with Hope and Grace I was tired and sick all the time. I hibernated for four and half months. I grieved and sobbed almost on a daily bases because I didn't know what to expect from day to day. This pregnancy feels too easy. I feel guilty for that. I have more energy, I am rarely ever sick, and when someone asks me how everything is going, I say, "Great"! But really in my heart I miss Hope and Grace and wish I had them crawling all around me and getting them excited for their new baby sister / brother.

It is a daily struggle to stay positive. But I am. I know my daughters miss me as much as I miss them. I know that they are just as elated as this new baby grows daily inside of me. I stay positive about having a healthy baby - as odd as this may seem. A part of me continuously prepares myself for another devastating loss. But I try to keep reminding myself

that it is not the amount of breathes we take that count, but the moments that take our breath away!

****
Ash Wednesday mass was such a good reminder to me of that saying. As I feel this looming loneliness for my daughters and for this new baby, I am reminded that it is a great preparation of my soul. God is preparing my soul - hopefully for heaven! As the priest marked my forehead with a black cross made of ashes and said the words, "Remember that you are from ashes and to ashes you will return." My heart filled with emotion as I could understand more profoundly this gift of life versus eternal life.

I walk this world alone. No one can walk it for me. I feel this pain for having given birth to my daughters and having to let them go, that no one else will ever know. I will walk alone as I carry each child and develop a love that will be different for each one - but none more than the other. I will be the only one to love my husband, the way I do. No one will ever know how much I long to hold his hand or what it means to me to share a kiss that only we can share. And no one will be able to walk my path to heaven. Each path is different and you must walk it alone, as Jesus did.

I must say, that I desire heaven more than I ever have. My girls are there. I thank the Lord for giving me my carrot to chase to that I may always be reminded of what is waiting for me there. However, before my journey is complete here I have to continue my path in this world to get to heaven.

Thank you Lord for these joys of life. Thank you for my faithful and loving husband. Thank you for allowing me this humbling gift of being able to carry a child in my womb and give birth. Thank you for my family and friends who give me such wonderful examples of how to chose to walk the path which leads me to you. Thank you for everyday in which I can learn what makes you happy and brings you joy, so that when I get to heaven I can present them to you.

Nella Cordelia

2010-02-11T11:28:00.005-05:00

Sweet Nella... A story that touched my heart!

www.enjoyingthesmallthings.blogspot.com/2010/01/nella-cordelia-birth-story.html

A New Little Klare!

2010-01-07T14:26:00.007-05:00

It's hard to believe that just 6 short months after delivering my darling baby girls, Hope and Grace, that God would give us another precious life. I can't quite wrap my head around the emotions that I feel and what I felt when entering into the Ultrasound today. I was scared and excited, but most of all just so relieved that I could see if that little heart (or two) was going to beat strong for me and Chris.

And their so clearly, my new little baby was, with a heart beating so strong.

Nothing can replace my little Hope and Grace. To me they are the greatest gift of love. For Chris and I to have gone this time without any baby to hold has been quite torturous and purifying.

Blessed be God who knows our hearts and has sent us a new babe to explode all our love on. Thank you Jesus! Thank you my little angels in heaven. You will be the best big sisters anyone could ever have! I love you - all three!

We will meet our new little Klare baby in August!