Heaven in this room.

First off I want to thank Luci and Chris for asking me to share my experience on their blog. I was very flattered to think my words meant so much to them, when in reality everything THEY have said the past 8 mths has touched ME more deeply than words could ever express. I feel I can’t articulate nor do justice the feelings I am trying to process. I remember mths ago when the Klares started this journey. The first phone call from Luci, I will never forget. My heart sunk that day and it wasn’t until I saw those beautiful girls on Tuesday I was able to feel the weight lifted off my chest. Luci updated me sometimes weekly, while other times were harder and she couldn’t bring herself to talk about it. It has been such a rollercoaster of emotions for me, and like I’ve repeatedly said to Luci, I have no idea how you are waking up so happy each day, you are truly amazing. To be so faithful and so trusting that even in times of deep sorrow, they still felt it was such a blessing. Though I believed it was a blessing all along, I wasn’t still wasn’t able to understand it. Luci and Chris asked me months ago if I could be there with them on the day the babies came and capture every second I could with my camera. I knew this was going to be the hardest experience I would probably ever face, but I agreed to it because Luci means so much to me and if this was something God wanted to happen, then it needed to happen. I’ve always been taught people come in and out of your life and each person will have a purpose. Six years ago when I met Luci, I could have never imagined experiencing this with her. I truly believe this was my purpose for Luci, and Luci for me.
When Linda, Chris’ mom, called me Tuesday to tell me it was time, I was unprepared. Though I thought about this moment everyday for months, I became extremely overwhelmed. I began to sob. I knew it was time for Luci to give up what she has loved SO DEEPLY for 8 mths. I was unsure exactly what to expect in terms of appearance and most importantly if I would even get to see them before they became angels. Once I arrived at the hospital I was able to share a moment with Luci and Chris before and tell them I couldn’t wait to meet the girls. We anxiously awaited their arrival in the chapel. I prayed that God do whatever will bring the most peace in the Klares hearts. I prayed that Hope and Grace would have no pain and that Mary would be waiting for their arrival to take them home herself. And of coarse I prayed for the strength to pull it together and be strong for them.
At about 6:30pm the nurse came in and told us everyone is ok and well, and they were ready for me. Instantly BAM, the floodgates opened. I took a step back, took a deep breath and their family said “just remember, you are photographing angels, and how much more of an honor is that? You can do this.” As I walked into the room they were just arriving as well. Immediately upon entering, I felt this warmth, this joy, this peace… Heaven was literally in that room. It was if my tears were wiped away and all I could feel was happiness. I saw Chris holding his girls with the biggest grin on his face presenting them to his beautiful wife. He sat on the edge of her bed and they just gazed at their princesses. I instantly started shooting everything I could. I knew they’d be beautiful, but I never imagined them to be this perfect. As Dr. Coppage explained each of their characteristics, Luci and Chris seemed so proud. Once Luci was able to hold them she gave them their first few kisses of the million she promised them to follow. Soon the happy parents gave the twins their first bath. It was then I got to see how tightly they embraced each other and how naturally their heads fell into a kissing position. I was in awe of this miracle. I then understood how Luci and Chris accepted this cross to bear 8 mths ago. These pure and innocent girls, this miracle in front of me…these angels…they were perfect in every way. They bathed them as if they were parents of 10 other children. Chris was exceptionally great and adorable as he gently moved them to clean every crevice. Each time they picked up a part of them I quickly snapped my shutter. I did not want to set up any shots for I felt their natural movements with the babies were just right.
Soon they were ready to show off the girls to the family. All the grandparents came in and with great joy held the babies and kissed them all over. Fr. Came in and held an amazing service, though we already knew Hope and Grace were sitting on God’s lap in heaven. Next all the aunts and uncles arrived in small groups. Looking at each person as they held the girls tight brought such warmth to my heart. Even as they teared up, Luci stayed so strong. She’d call them over and hug them and tell them how happy she was and they should be. She said it best when she said, “I’m not sure what it feels like for Heaven to pour down on me, but this must be it. I am just so happy.” It was true. God gave us these girls to teach us the beauty of life. To remind us how blessed we are even in times when it feels quite the opposite. As the hours passed and it was getting late the nurse and I quickly grabbed some inked footprints and handprints. Even though I took hundreds of photos, you can’t quite grasp the fragility and teeniness of them like you can’t with a print. When we were done, I picked up the girls for the first time and kissed them myself. I thanked them for allowing me to be a part of their short life. I thanked them for the peace they brought to my heart…for teaching me the importance of life, for it can be so fragile and short. And most importantly for reminding me that everyone I love so dearly, are not mine, they are God’s children and I must surrender them. As I handed them back to Luci she told them for the hundreth time how pretty they were. Chris stood by all three of his girl’s sides and wept. I knew at this moment, this was the beginning of the unknown for them. Their faith and families got them through this journey and it will continue to get them through the rest of their lives together.
Even tonight when I shared the photos with them, they still seemed so happy. This is just so remarkable to me. Everyone I have shared this story with says, “I don’t know how they did it, because I know I couldn’t.” I hope these images continue to give you peace for years to come. And as your family grows (big!!), each child will get to see their big sisters and be as proud as we were this week. You have no idea how much it meant to be to be part of this amazing journey. I thank you for inviting me into the most intimate part of your lives thus far. I am deeply comforted in knowing that my baby inside me now has 6mths to make best friends with your girls in heaven!! How cool is that? I know they are and always will be looking down on us. I will never forget the feeling on heaven upon us. I love you guys and I am here to share with you every high and every low. Love melanie.