I felt them on the mountain tops!!

August 23, was an emotional day. It symbolized for Chris and I a big day. Hope and Grace's due date was August 23 and they were born two months ago on June 23. And so beginning that day was a beautiful yet very emotional.

Chris and I decided to do something we had never done before... CLIMB A MOUNTAIN! lol! And let me tell you, it was the most difficult challenge, both physically and mentally, that I have ever done.

We started the 2.38 mile steep climb. The only thing I kept thinking was, "Get to the top, Luci! Girls, KEEP US SAFE!" It was a grueling journey. So many times I wanted to give up and turn around.

The sun and heat beat on our bodies like a thousand pounds, yet with Chris' encouragement we continued the climb. As we went up the mountain, I was surprised that Chris was so physically and mentally strong. I kept teasing him that the girls were aiding him more and they could throw their mama a bone to help me climb this thing! I felt every corner of my lungs as well as muscle in this weak body inch its way up the rock. I knew that I when we reached the top, it would be worth it.... I hoped.
Other climbers were running up and down the mountain so fast. I couldn't beleive that they had that much stamina! But they encouraged us as they passed to keep going! They kept saying, "Doing good, almost there!"It reminded me so much of all the people who were praying for us during the pregnancy when I was literally suffering with every step of my heavy body, and mentally drained.

When we reached the top, I was so tired and exhausted. I cried. I couldn't believe how beautiful it was to stand on top of the mountain and reflect on the journey up. We made it!

Again, I reflected on my girls. The feeling was so much like the moment after they were born and I saw them for the first time. I thanked God!
The way down was equally as grueling. Though physically it was not as difficult of a climb, the heat had taken it's final toll on me. I began to feel dizzy and chilled. I stopped sweating and knew that I couldn't take one more step. I could see the end of the trail, where we had first started and I couldn't even continue! I sat behind a massive bolder, trying to collect a little energy and air. The rock provided a good amount of shade to keep me cool, but I still couldn't move. Chris kept asking me to get up and try to make it, just the little way we had left, but I couldn't move! Two hikers coming down the mountain were kind enough to give me some water and more motivation. I felt as though they were angels! I drank the water and muscled up the last bit of energy and crossed the finish line.
When Chris and I returned home I ran to the shower, turned it on cold and sat there just to cool down. I cried... I cried so hard. I felt my heart just ache because I had done something that I didn't think I could do, I could feel my girls help me every step of the way.
Ok, Luci it was just a mountain!
But not for me. It was so hard! It was so demanding of my body and mind. I really hated every step that I didn't want to take. And I probably would never do it again. But I realized, just like having the girls, I didn't want to take many of the steps God gave me in the pregnancy. I didn't want the bad news, the pain! But I did it, because God promised me something... He promised me love and true joy. And I received just that... I wouldn't have had it any other way.
Climbing that mountain for me was climbing my way to see my girls. Being so physically, mentally and spiritually tolled from, I felt closer to the girls that day than I have since they were born.
Isn't it funny?
When you put yourself through rigor, you can some how see the beauty in it all and be grateful you did it! That you lived through it!

This picture is that night after climbing! We are just slightly drained, but happy! Lol!



Gracie. Hope.
I love you so much... My heart misses you every day and begs to be with you in heaven. I long to hold my "little darlings". Keep watch over your pappa and I! We live each day to be with you again. You are beautiful and loved so deeply. Please help us to live in the image and likeness of God so that as we climb through this life that is so difficult at times, when we reach the top -heaven- we will be together and rest in God's love-TOGETHER!
I love you... I love you... I love you... I send all my kisses and hugs to you in this prayer.


XXXOOOXXX!
Your Mama!