Lately, everyone asks me, "How is Maria doing?" I typically answered the question in a very bubbly manner, "She is doing great!"
However, since the holidays, I have had to answer, "She isn't sleeping, I am not sleeping and we are about to lose it!"
For the past two weeks I have been waking up every two hours trying to get her to go back to sleep. I would talk to moms who have children Maria's age and their babies were sleeping 6 to 8 hours and the moms looked so refreshed. Where as I have had a nagging twitch in my eye that gets even more gnarly when I am frustrated or exert any type of energy. The Source - Maria waking up throughout the night.
One more day and I would not survive.
I had to pull my resources of mothers with a plan.
If there is any such a mom whose children practically beg to take naps and go to bed at exactly there bed time it is my sister, Jacque.
I called her in agonizing distress over our situation and she gave me the following advice, "GET MARIA ON A SCHEDULE".
She said that it is the best for the baby and for the parents to have a schedule of which she can be used to. When she knows when she will be fed, played with and put down to sleep. And numerous moms have told me that during the night not to nurse / feed the baby a ginormous chocolate shake, cuz then every night in the middle of the night, every two hours they are going to want a chocolate shake! of COURSE! duh!
Maria needs to associate night time with bed time... sleeping not eating and holding.
Night 1
Maria went down at 8:45 and screamed to the heavens for someone to hold her. This went on until midnight.
While she was crying I would get up every 15 minutes to hold her for a second, give her a kiss, lay her back down and then lay in my bed only to cry while saying the rosary that she would sleep better! I begged for help!
however, I caved. At midnight I pulled her into my bed only to have her sleep like a babe as soon as I picked her up.
She still woke up every 2 hours after that.
Night 2
7:30 pm Maria got a bath, fed her, read a book, prayed and pulled all of the angels and saints prayers with me to ask the Lord for a goodnight's rest for my little Maria. I begged Hope and Grace to hold her through the night, so she knew that Klare Love was caressing her through the night.
at 8:00 pm I kissed her, layed her down, and then left the room.
10 minutes later - OUT! She actually fell asleep on her own.
She did wake up again at 9:00 to cry for about 30 minutes and after a kiss and quick, "I love you baby" she finally settled down to fall asleep.
However, since the holidays, I have had to answer, "She isn't sleeping, I am not sleeping and we are about to lose it!"
For the past two weeks I have been waking up every two hours trying to get her to go back to sleep. I would talk to moms who have children Maria's age and their babies were sleeping 6 to 8 hours and the moms looked so refreshed. Where as I have had a nagging twitch in my eye that gets even more gnarly when I am frustrated or exert any type of energy. The Source - Maria waking up throughout the night.
One more day and I would not survive.
I had to pull my resources of mothers with a plan.
If there is any such a mom whose children practically beg to take naps and go to bed at exactly there bed time it is my sister, Jacque.
I called her in agonizing distress over our situation and she gave me the following advice, "GET MARIA ON A SCHEDULE".
She said that it is the best for the baby and for the parents to have a schedule of which she can be used to. When she knows when she will be fed, played with and put down to sleep. And numerous moms have told me that during the night not to nurse / feed the baby a ginormous chocolate shake, cuz then every night in the middle of the night, every two hours they are going to want a chocolate shake! of COURSE! duh!
Maria needs to associate night time with bed time... sleeping not eating and holding.
Night 1
Maria went down at 8:45 and screamed to the heavens for someone to hold her. This went on until midnight.
While she was crying I would get up every 15 minutes to hold her for a second, give her a kiss, lay her back down and then lay in my bed only to cry while saying the rosary that she would sleep better! I begged for help!
however, I caved. At midnight I pulled her into my bed only to have her sleep like a babe as soon as I picked her up.
She still woke up every 2 hours after that.
Night 2
7:30 pm Maria got a bath, fed her, read a book, prayed and pulled all of the angels and saints prayers with me to ask the Lord for a goodnight's rest for my little Maria. I begged Hope and Grace to hold her through the night, so she knew that Klare Love was caressing her through the night.
at 8:00 pm I kissed her, layed her down, and then left the room.
10 minutes later - OUT! She actually fell asleep on her own.
She did wake up again at 9:00 to cry for about 30 minutes and after a kiss and quick, "I love you baby" she finally settled down to fall asleep.
I layed in my bed next to her crib and contemplated this for a long while.
I always asked the Lord for a baby who loved to be held and cuddled. AND I GOT IT! ;)
But I am the one who has to learn self control. That what is loving Maria too much and always being at her call may not be the best for her. I have to have self control and balance my love for her. That loving her is also helping her to do learn how to do things on her own. Loving her is giving her the ability to know that Papa and I are ALWAYS there, but in somethings she has the ability to much more on her own. Never-the-less I will pick her up and squeeze and kiss her in her waking hours as MUCH AS I WANT! That is just non-negotiable!
It is only natural that we "over love" Maria since Hope and Grace aren't here, but love is also in discipline- on both ends - which we are quickly learning.
The Result
Maria got a GREAT night's sleep and so did Mama and Papa!
And she woke up in great big gummy smiles to let us know that.
Continue to pray for me as this parenting thing is not as easy as I once thought! :)
But it sure is the better than I ever could have imagined!
The Result
Maria got a GREAT night's sleep and so did Mama and Papa!
And she woke up in great big gummy smiles to let us know that.
Continue to pray for me as this parenting thing is not as easy as I once thought! :)
But it sure is the better than I ever could have imagined!
Luci - great post. The sleeping condundrum is such a rough stage to go through - yay for you for being disciplined!! Keep going!!
ReplyDeleteyou are an amazing mommy...with so much love to give!! you don't have to drop ALL of your night feedings- just 5 or 6 of them!! :) love you, sis. jac
ReplyDeleteyoull soon look back on this and think...i cant even remember what its like to wake up in the night. then you know its time to get pregs again! send maria to grandmas house for a night. preferably a friday so you can sleep as late as you want on saturday! better send that morning freak to grandmas too bc you dont want him spoiling your sleep. ;)
ReplyDeleteheart. auntie mel
what a wonderful post. It's hard to think that we as parents have to apply the "tough love" concept so early on in our child's life--yet bedtime is one of those moments.
ReplyDeleteHere is the good news--you can be comforted in your struggles because 99.9% of parents deal with the sleeping issue--we are all here lifting you up in prayer!
Lu,
ReplyDeleteIt will get better with time. You are so right in coming to the conclusion that love needs a balance, but then again, everything does. You're an amazing mom! The more kids you have, the more you realize what type of mom you want to be and with God's help, become. Parenting is the best gift. I can't even explain to you what a blessing it has been in my life. I love you, Luci!
Mary W.
Hi Luci,
ReplyDeleteSleepless nights are tough....I remember them from 20 years ago!!! But you have it figured out....a schedule is the key. Everything will be better when your family gets the rest it needs....keep your sense of humor and an occasional night out with the girls may help also!
take care,
love,
Mary Considine