i love this girl.

I am seriously in love with this little girl.

Is it weird that I get all choked up just writing that down?

Maria has been the light to my darkness.  All the tears and pain that I feel when I think of how much I miss my babies, Hope and Grace are soaked up and healed by Maria's love.

I love her.

Maria's smiles, hugs, squeezes and kisses are enough to make my heart explode each and every time she freely gives them to me.  

She is so unique in her own right.

I adore she loves her daddy and calls for him every time she hears a strange noise in the house or outside.

I love that she says, "hi mama" every time she snuggles on my chest and needs some of my loving.

I love that she knows her grandparents and adores them all.  Each time we pull up to Chris' mom and dad's she points with a smile, "papaw!"

Same thing with my mom and dad she points and says, "nana!"

I love that she is so much like Chris.  She likes to do things by herself, but needs me there to watch and support.  Or she will sit for a long time taking things apart only to figure out how to put it back together again.  But she is most like him in knowing the details.  She will spot a "mess" on my shirt and be quick to let me know.  Or she will stand at the front door and keep eye on the neighborhood.  Her temper is quick and ravenous but leaves just as quick to shower you with love... :) THAT is something to see.  

Chris and I always say, "ooo, she's got that jaw going" when she get's mad. LOL!

I love this girl.

I love her goofy words

Beet = blanket

wook = work

alamo = Elmo

abow = Elbow

tantoo = thank you

Allah = Angela

pi-ow = pillow

pouw = pool

 ell-O = Hello (my personal fav)

 I love this girl.

I could spend hours lifetimes looking at her, holding her and loving her.

Joseph is almost here.  

Soon my heart will grow even more.  I will get to enjoy two children in heaven and two in my arms.  I can't believe i am at this stage in my life already.  (AGH!)

But i can't wait to watch Maria grow into a big sister and share the joys of having a sibling like i had.  it is such a gift!

I want her to know that this time we have had together in these past 21 months have been so amazing with just us.

God sent her to me to heal my heart, to downpour my love on and to regain my desire for life as a mother.

Thank you, Maria for being a part of this crazy family.  For allowing daddy and i to love you so much and kiss you until your face is blotched!  thank you for being everything to us these past 21 months.  

we love you.