It wasn't but just 1 year ago, I was sitting waiting, waiting and waiting. I waited for my rainbow baby (what they call children who come after losing an infant - the rainbow after the rain). And when she arrived... I allowed myself to get lost in loving her.
Oh Maria! I can hardly write this without wanting to sob uncontrollably at the thought of what your 365 days of just breathing has done for me. And all 365 days I have spent smothering you in mushy kisses, tender squeezes and lots of "I love you, baby" smiles.
So in reflection of this year this is what I want to always remember...
When you were born, I thought you were the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen.
(Though your uncles commented a lot on your double chin and your hairy shoulders
- we forgave them)
I spent the days after your birth without any sleep. I couldn't. Ever breath you took relieved the weight I carried for so long from your sisters' leaving us. With every breath you filled my life with love and joy and I lingered on how sweet you looked at each moment. (i still do)
I spent 3 months of my life with you with just us everyday all day. We would wake up every few hours to nurse, burp, puke, hold, kiss, kiss, kiss, sleep and repeat. Those were the best three months of my whole life. I was in absolute euphoria being your full time mama. And tried to capture as many pictures of you as possible to remember you at every moment. (it's hard to imagine you so tiny anymore)
I love when you look at me the way you do. Your eyes are always telling me how much you love me. I try to keep up with your "loving eyes" in return. But, you beat every time.
As you started to grow, your started to show your true colors. And my goodness are you so much like your daddy! You two are bestest friends in the whole world. Every time Papa would walk in a room you would light up with smiles from ear to ear.
In fact, your very first smile was... in his arms, almost immediately after you were born.
You two have been locked at the hip since day 1. Where you go he goes. When you cry he is there to mend. When you laugh he is there to laugh with you.
Before you were born there were so many things he couldn't wait to show you in life. All the things that made his childhood great. All the beauty in life that there is to appreciate. He has made it his priority to give you a beautiful childhood.
(You're doing Papa!)
setting up all your new toys
gardening
parades and festivals
zoos, conservatories and randoms.
and of course... THE BEACH
You two have mastered it all together. He loves to watch you dance to "bob-ba-ran" and sings that to you every 5 seconds. He loves to play with you in the morning and watch you get chase him and him chase you around our little house.
He calls you his "twin". I am a little jealous over how much you two are alike. ;) And at the same time I love it more than you could imagine!
....................
Your feet are your censors. You touch EVERYTHING with your feet first!
You go to sleep with a soft blanket and like to rub it against the corner of your mouth. If you have no blanket, my hand or fingers will do.
You started to dance at 11 months old, at my cousin's wedding. I had never seen you do that before!
And you are such a sport about everything - even when Nana puts curlers in your hair
and bathe in her sink.
You just figured out how to laugh outloud and now that is all you want to do when you hear yourself doing it.
You also have decided that you are your own person. Very RARELY do you want us to hold your hand or help you with anything these days. You are discovering the world on your own. And we are casually there when you need us.
You are the most wonderful part of my day. I need you when I wake up and find it so difficult to lay you down by yourself when you go to sleep. But I try my best to not be overwhelming and smothering.
Life without Maria would be unimaginable. I wouldn't have it! I think that you are the most amazing little person I have ever met and discover amazing new things about you everyday.
I love you so much. Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday to your beautiful little girl! Maria is precious, and it is obvious how happy and blessed she is.
ReplyDeleteGet out of town with all of these great pics! The one of Maria on Chris' shoulders, the curlers that Nana put in, and the bath tub/sink are just great! I love that little sweet bushka...she is beyond blessed to have you and Old Man Klare as parents. I love you, Maria!!!
ReplyDeleteHbd mawia! Love you baby!
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